Dark Love

Epilogue

I never thought I could raise two kids all on my own, but as the years passed by — I somehow learned how to deal with tantrums, negotiate on eating vegetables and watching cartoon almost everyday. Luca is supposed to be here, with me, raising two wonderful children. I don't how to stop my thoughts from thinking of him. I just miss him so much. The worst part of it all, is that I have to pretend that he is dead, and I am sacred that I am getting good with living with the lie, that slowly I am starting to believe in it.

He is not dead to me, his not and so is my little baby girl, they live in my heart. Alive.

"Mum!" Ian yells from the top of his lungs, averting my attention. He runs into my bedroom, standing by the door sulking.

"What is it Mr sweet-face? I ask, looking at him sympathetically.

"Sebastian doesn't want to play with me," he complains, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Hmmm why doesn't Sebastian want to play with Mr sweet-face? Let's go ask him." I get out of bed. I held his little hand, and as we walk to Sebastian's room. I look at Ian, how he resembles his father... especially when he has his serious face on. I knock on Sebastian's door and enter. "Sebastian honey..." I enter and see him fast asleep on his bed. I cover him with his blanket and kiss him on forehead. The soccer practice he goes to always exhausts him after.

"Your brother is very tired," I whisper to Ian. I carry him and slowly walk out of the room.

"Who will play with me?" He asks, his face sorrowful.

" Hmm isn't it time for bed now?" I ask him, putting him onto my bed.

"No I don't want to sleep! I want to play. I promise I will wake up early tomorrow," he pleads.

"You need to sleep early," I tell him.

"Mummy please let me stay up and watch cartoon," he says in a low tone.

I shake my head. "Nope, it's either sleep now or no watching television for two days." I am still working on my threats.

"Okay I want to sleep then." He replies, swinging his legs on the edge of my bed. "Can I sleep here today?" I smile.

"Yes you can," I say to him. He gets under the duvet and covers himself. " Mummy has to do some work. I'll come to bed in a little while," I say to him, as I tuck him in. He nod's his head and closes his eyes. I kiss him on the forehead, telling him how much I love him. I head to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee. I have so much paperwork. I published my book — Her Lost Love. I dedicated it to Ava, she never gave up on me and my dreams. I wish she was here... It did well, my book sold more than three thousand copies. I did a couple of television interviews — almost cried at one, when they asked if I have ever had a true love.I wasn't prepared for that question.

As I pour the coffee into my mug, the phone starts to ring, I quickly pick my phone from the counter. I look at the caller ID, it's an Unknown caller. I answer the call.

"Hello?" I speak in a low tone. "Who is this?" I ask, and take in a deep breath. No one answers. "Why do you keep on calling me? Who are you?" I ask curious to know who is on the other side of the phone. I usually get a phone call from a private number every once a month, and it only lasts for three minutes until the person would eventually hang up. Usually I hang up first after scolding the person. "Stop calling me. This isn't funny!" I hang up the call. I don't know why I always answer the phone call. Perhaps deep down I am just hoping it's Lucas on the other end of the call...