Big Ugly Story Starters

Ian McCulloch and Kevin Khatchadourian

[ Author's note: This unfinished 'Interview' was done as a writing excercize for an AU I was getting stuck with. It's a crossover between bandslash and the novel/film We Need To Talk About Kevin. In my alternate timeline, Kevin will have graduated from highschool and did not commit the mass shooting. The interviewer, which is my self-insert, is coming to interview Ian in 1999-ish, and is unaware that the young man looking over his and Ian's shoulder through the entire interview is Ian's lover] 

I meet Ian McCulloch, frontman for acclaimed cult band Echo & the Bunnymen on the tourbus. It is vacant right now apart from McCulloch, and his companion, who became known only by the name of Kevin by the road crew that led me in. 'Kevin Khatchadourian', he informs me as I enter the territory, insisting I won't miss the detail of his first AND last name when I turn in my story. His tone is sharply pronounced and slightly intimidating, and through the interview it would seem like he keeps on testing me - studying me in the same way professional celebrities who are more media-savvy do - on a quest to be portrayed in a certain light. His brown eyes are penetrating, and his expression can move from a smug, menacing grin into a dark and deep void within seconds.

The van is sparingly lit, the only light coming in goes through the blinds that were installed on the passengers' side of the window, The two men were sipping coffee fresh out of the electric kettle. Ian offers me a cup of cofee and I oblige, turning the recorder on after my mug is served.

Duke: Ian, let's talk about Echo & the Bunnymen...

Ian: Not bothered (-chuckles-). Let's talk about something else...

He lights a cigarette for himself, and then for Kevin.

I: "I've been growing me hair out. I look like Beelzebub. I keep going on telling everyone that it's a fashion statement. but Kevin here -" he points, "he says I'm just being lazy."

Kevin is filling up with disdain, even worse than before. His anger goes all the way up to his eyes.

"I told him it looks like shit," he corrects "which it does."

"I'm just playing the game," Ian continues, uninterrupted. "The most important thing is to show them you don't care."

"The audience?" I asked him.

"Of course, the audience. The media too," he looks at me. "Me manager... Me wife - she says I should cut it, you know, she keeps telling me it's gotten too long..."

While I was looking and listening to Ian, Kevin had turned away in his seat. He excludes himself from the interview, for now.

D: Is it something I said?.

I: "It's something I said, leave it," he hushes me sternly. "You're wearing a pink shirt..." he notices my pink button-down. "I don't get it, people wearing pink. Will wears pink now..." I notice he's going off on a tangent, maybe to stir the conversation away from the young lad.

"It's fashionable," I tell him.

I: "You see, that's the problem, fashion. You've got too many trend-setters these days, and none of them know how to dress themselves. If you're taking fashion tips, take them from ME," he empathises.

D: Is Echo & the Bunnymen still fashionable?

I: "We're beyond fashion, because we always preceded it. We were always ahead of our time - but that's because I can see into the future!" He laughs again. "That's why we quit while we were still ahead. Everyone else in the band got cheesed off with me for doing it then, but it was the right thing to do."