Mr. Tan

Chapter 8: We Meet Again

It was almost near the end of January and I was still looking for a job. During what seemed like this small stretch of time between late December to late January, I told Rashaad the news and he wasn't too happy. He picked me up in his car we just drove around not going anywhere in particular. He told me that he wasn't ready to be a father and that he's already set to go to college after his senior year on a basketball scholarship and that he had plans on leaving this town. I asked and practically pleaded that he'd stay in contact with me while he was away to check up on me and his future child and he said that he really couldn't promise me anything. He said he hasn't had the chance to introduce me to his family. I told him about me not having any luck in finding work and that by this time next year that I could be homeless. He said it was no way that his parents would let me stay with them if all else failed. I told him that I  would be more than happy to help around the house and I wouldn't be much of a hassle. He said he could throw a few bucks my way from his after school job and that would pretty much be all that he could do. After that debacle I turned to the only person I had left and that was Latoya. During this time she was busy with cheer leading practice and math tutoring after her mother threatened to decrease her allowance if she didn't get her algebra grade back up. I finally broke down and told her that I was pregnant with Rashaad's baby and to tell her that I'm sorry for keeping it from her. I ventured across the street on a 55 degree late January day. After I told her what was up, she called me a fake Bitch and told me that she loved me and this is how I repaid her. I told that despite what we did in her bedroom I wasn't what she thought I was and apologized for leading her on. She told me to get off of her porch and that she doesn't want to see me again. If her older brother was there, he would have intervened. He moved out shortly before Christmas and moved to San Diego California to be with a long lost boyfriend he reunited with. I never felt so lonely before, carrying a baby with no job and shortly no place to go. During this time my mamma lost her job at the supermarket and just kind of gave up on looking for work. While at home she drank like a fish during the day and on most nights her and Clyde would be out until the we hours of the morning or real late at night. They would always come back with mamma's eyes looking bloodshot and glazed over. He would either half carry her into the bedroom or dump her on the couch. During this time mamma's looks just seemed to gradually fade. My baby belly begin to come in and here at home I survived solely on whatever canned food I could find in the cupboards. On days when I did go to school I treated the cafeteria food like it was my last meal and my grades begin to slip. When I did see Rashaad in the school halls at lease he had the decency to ask how I was or slip a few dollars in my hand without me asking. He didn't ask how the baby growing inside of me was doing and I wasn't going to offer any information. As for Latoya, she completely ignored any attempt I made to try and talk to her.

 As far as my job search was going, I had no luck whatsoever. I tried movie theaters, gas stations, fast food joints, even diners. I  even went as far as trying to look older by using some of my mom's make-up and lying about my age. It was no way in hell I was gonna try any of the local clubs or bars around here cause it was no way that I would be successful. The only attention I got when walking down the street all made up with my hair styled was random older guys whistling at me. Let's face it, I was too young to work and probably by spring I'd be homeless and trying to raise a kid. I had no one to rely on cause now the only thing mamma did was sleep most of the time and Clyde went back to ignoring me or calling me a dirty tramp. I made myself as useful as I could by doing lots of chores, making sure my mamma had her booze and cigarettes close by and staying out of Clyde's way. My high school was so close to home that I saw no point of hopping on the school bus unless the weather was bad. I recently begin associating with an 18 year old girl at my school that worked at Earl's Place, which was a hole in the wall but popular little juke joint here in East Cleveland Mississippi. I've walked past the place numerous of times to and from school but never been inside. I had 3rd period study hall with a senior girl in my class named Christina Adderley. She was one of the very few white students that attended West Bank High. Christina was of medium height and thick. She wore rectangular cherry red framed glasses and her brunette hair was always cornrowed in the front while the rest of it laid straight and sleek to the middle of her back. We also had the same gym class together. She drove to school cause sometimes I saw her park her dark blue beat up Cadillac in front of the school. She was sassy and known for talking back to teachers. She sat across from me to my left when I asked her if she had an extra pencil I could barrow so I could finish the rest of my history assignment for Mrs. Lars class. She was fishing around in her big bright red leather bag when she noticed the slight bump in my belly. With me being so petite, it wasn't hard to notice my little baby bump if you were that close to me. I always wore hoodies or over sized sweat shirts to try and hide it but today I had no luck cause all my hoodies and sweatshirts were in the laundry, so today I had to settle for a form fitting black sweater and bright yellow stretch pants.