Mr. Tan

Chapter 1: Who I Am

Hey y'all, my name is Alexis Bethany Hathaway and I'm 22 years old. I'm Cleveland Mississippi born and raised. My mamma Julian "June Bug" Hathaway had me when she was 17, you believe that?! I never knew my daddy but where I'm from, that's normal I guess. Pretty much everybody I knew and associated with comes from a young mamma and no daddy. The only difference between me and them is the fact that I'm half black, half white. My mamma had told me my daddy was a white boy that was from the hills of Eastern Kentucky. They went to high school together so that's how they met. His name was Michael Boatwright and he and my mamma dated for a month before they slept together in a motel room. When he found out she was pregnant, he took off. I been around the block myself a little bit, so I can't judge her. Well, eventually my mamma dropped out of school near the end of her junior year to raise me but my grandma wasn't having it. Grandma Eden took me and took good care of me till I was 13. She felt my mom was too young and dumb to be responsible for a baby. Them days were the happiest days of my life, up till my grandma was diagnosed with cancer and died two years later.

 Throughout those years Grandma made sure I went to church and got a good dose of the Lord. I even sang in the children's choir. She said I was a natural and God blessed me with a good pair of lungs. Despite the fact that I sang gospel music I always wanted to sing blues music. I would always sneak and listen to my Grandma's Big Mamma Thornton records. I was banned from listening to "grown folks music" so I knew that if I was caught, I'd a getting a whooping with a switch and hear a lecture about how growing up so damn fast will lead me to Hell, and how I'll end up like my mamma, whom I didn't meet until the day of my grandma's funeral. During her days in the hospital and until her funeral I stayed with a good friend of her's and neighbor Ms. Clarice Mabel. She was a few years younger than my Grandma and was married to Joseph Mabel who owned the convenient store that was up the street. They had a son named Diesel who was a teenager, 16 I think. He was fucking beautiful, I don't think I ever felt that way about a boy before. Well, to make a long story short, my hormones got the best of me and I ended up loosing my virginity to him. He was tall and lean cause he was on the track team at his school. He was copper colored, with gray eyes and curly hair like his mamma. It happened one Sunday when his parents went to church and we stayed home together. We fucked in his room, on his bed underneath his sports posters. We did a good job at keeping our secret. His parents never knew and neither did my Grandma. We weren't a couple or nothing but we just fucked out of boredom, but I think he liked me.

 Well, after the funeral was over was the day I went home with my mamma. My mother was coffee and cream colored, medium height and thick like molasses. At the funeral she wore a tight black dress and matching stiletto heels. Despite the fact that it was early March and it was still a bit cool outside, she wore no jacket or panty hoes for that matter. Her make-up was beautifully done and she sat next to a stoic looking dark skinned man with high cheek bones and a dark gray suit with scuffed up black dress shoes. When Ms. Mabel and her husband guided me to the entrance of St. Laurette Cemetery, she walked up to me and introduced herself as my mamma. She told me that I'd be coming home with her and her husband to live, but it was really up to me. I immediately agreed because I've waited my whole life to meet my mamma. I hope she missed me as much as I longed to meet her. After the funeral underneath the cloudy skies, my mother motioned for me to follow her to a red pick up truck so she could introduce me to her husband. Throughout this whole time that I stayed in contact with my mamma, she never mentioned a husband. I guess she was going to surprise me. When we got to the truck he was sitting inside smoking a cigarette. As soon as my mom and I climbed into the truck, she introduced him as Clyde Freeman her husband. The whole time he sat silent behind the wheel as we drove home. He didn't even acknowledge me the whole time while I sat in the backseat staring out the window watching the landscape pass us by. The only move he made was to light up another cigarette while at a stop light. 

My mamma tried starting a conversation despite the fact that she looked nervous the whole time.

 "Well, this here your new daddy. He don't say much but he like you, I can tell. Don't worry we gonna be a happy family....you'll see.

She gently placed her trembling hand on his arm as he gripped the steering wheel. He stayed quiet as he focused on the road and blues music played softly from the radio. I started humming along to the song, and I saw a smile appear on my mom's face. She looked back at me, her dark eyes shinning like diamonds.

 "Well, I'll be dipped, you like that grown folks music, huh? Aww, Clyde baby why don't you turn that up a little so my baby can really enjoy it.

 He reluctantly reached over and turned off the radio instead of turning it up. My mamma looked back at him and gulped hard.

"Sweetie, donchu mind him, he's just having a bad day. Believe you me, he gonna be much better once he eats some of my good ole' home cooking later on.

 Clyde remained silent but I saw his jaw clinch. Little did I know this was beginning of a hard life.