Avengers One Shots

How Not To Cope ➢ S. Rogers

Steve paced relentlessly in the lounge room. If he wasn't so worried about (Y/N) he would have been concerned that he was going to burn a hole in the floor. He hadn't been able to sleep, not when he knew that (Y/N) was self-imploding out on the landing bay. He told himself that he was going to stay out of it. That he wasn't going to get involved because what she did in her spare time wasn't his concern. Everyone is entitled to spend time alone.

But as he heard the 2nd empty bottle of Scotch hit the hard floor and saw (Y/N) slump into a ball on the ground, did he decided that enough was enough.
How many times was he expected to watch her tear herself down?

"(Y/N)?" He questioned, sliding the door closed with a push of his hand as he stepped closer into the dim light.

(Y/N) perked up slightly. Her head tilting to the side so she could peer at him from beyond the cover of her arms. "What do you want, Steve?" Her voice was heavy, unwavering and void of any emotion. His heart broke silently at the sound of her.

His eyes softened, and he hoped that his voice wouldn't crack. "I-I wanted to check if you're okay."

"I'm fine." She muttered, through baited breaths. It was clear that she wasn't.

"No, you're not." He argued. He didn't want to argue with her, but sometimes she was just so stubborn.

"Yes, I am." She stammered over her words, the alcohol swashing about in the pit of her stomach.

"(Y/N)-" Steve tried, hoping to reason with her. He was cut off.

"I want to be alone, Cap." (Y/N)'s words were so calm, so soporific, so unlike her, that for a few moments he was at a loss for words.

"Well, I'm not leaving you. Not when you're like this."

"Rogers." she spat his name as if she meant it as an insult. "Leave. Now."

"No." Steve held his ground, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to keep his composure.

"Why are you so worried about me?" She slurred out accompanied by a hefty sigh. She rose to her feet, staggering for a second as she tried to regain her balance. She looked at him, her face tilted up so she could stare him directly in the eyes.

"Because you're my teammate, and you're going through a tough time." He countered as he took a step closer, his hand reaching out to steady her, to offer her comfort.

"I don't need your help." She quipped back, moving away from the blond man to sit on the edge of the building. She reached for another bottle. "I'm dealing with it on my own."

"This," he snatched the slender bottle out of her grasp before she could take another sip. "-This is not how you deal with things, (Y/N)!"

"You can't talk." Her voice was low, venomous. "You're not exactly the poster boy for good mental health, Rogers." (Y/N) huffed, wringing her hands together. She sighed, her anger diminishing. She knew that Steve was only trying to help, but sometimes he could be so infuriating with his 24/7 do-gooder attitude. "Can-can you not be my captain for two seconds, and-and just be my friend? Please?"

Steve sighed, rubbing his temples. His fingers ascending upwards and raking through his messy blond hair. He stared down at the girl for a moment, her tired (e/c) eyes gazing back at him, filling him with sorrow. She looked so broken. So vulnerable. He had never seen her like this before and it worried him. He sat down next to her. His shoulders grazing hers. He could feel the cold tingles of goosebumps on her skin and he snaked his arm around her waist, in hopes of sharing some of his body heat with her. (Y/N) shivered at his touch, leaning into him slightly and basking in his warmth. A certain sense of home and safety resonated deep within her and she felt grateful to be in the company of her captain -her friend.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, a comfortable silence enveloping them as their legs swung absentmindedly over the edge of the tower. The sun was beginning to rise far away on the horizon but still, they made no attempt to move or speak. Steve knew not to push (Y/N), that she would come around when and only when she was ready. And he was okay with that, he understood. In the meantime, he was perfectly content just sitting with her. Because then, at the very least, neither of them had to face their demons alone. And that, in itself was a comforting thought that they both had stumbled across, however still remaining somewhat unaware that the other felt the same way.

(Y/N) gazed over at the rising city, her eyes brimming with tears, her hands wringing together even tighter now. For the city that never slept, it sure seemed peaceful. She breathed in, slow and steady. Her nostrils filling with a sweet scent that was distinctly Steve's and for a few seconds, at least, she felt okay.

But those few moments passed by, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth and tears rolling down her face. And suddenly, just like that, she felt the ache in her heart once again. She felt the familiar numbness in her fingertips and saw the dark clouds rolling in, in her mind. And it was if those seconds of sweetness never even happened. It was if she had never felt the warm tingling of relief. It was if she had never felt happiness.

"It hurts, Steve." (Y/N) muttered, her tongue darting over her chapped lips. She gazed down at her hands. "Everything just hurts so much. How do I make it stop? Please, make it stop."

Steve pulled her in closer, kissing the top of her head. "I'm not sure I can make it stop, doll. That has to happen on its own. But I will try to make it hurt less. And one day when it doesn't hurt anymore, I'll still be here."

(Y/N) looked up at him, her eyes catching his, a spark of light shining behind his baby blues. "Promise?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, but still he heard it.

Steve smiled sadly, his voice threatening to crack as she stared down at the girl in his arms. "I promise."