Castle Bleck Craziness

Dimentio's Bright Idea

One Void Day, Count Bleck was sitting on the black couch of the black living room, next to Nastasia, Mimi, and Mr. L. O'Chunks was situated on the floor. They were all waiting for Dimentio to come in and tell them an idea he had come up with. Finally, he appeared there in his familiar ring of clearness. "Hello, adoring fans," he began. "We are NOT your fans," Mr. L was quick to say. "Get to the point," Nastasia said.
Dimentio just glared at them quickly before saying, "I have decided that this family needs some entertaining activities. Thus, I have come up with something that will test our patience, skill, and, most importantly, our endurance of each other."
"Great," Mimi said.
"However, this genius idea will be limited to only the guys of the household, like a man-club for men."
"I knew my time was being wasted," Nastasia said, rising. She walked out of the room to go do something worky. Mimi left too, without a word.
"Alright, so my genius idea is...Man Scouts!" Dimentio screamed.
"...I would 'ave guess'd," O'Chunks said, quite unintelligibly.
"Yeah, if you think we're doing stupid kiddy things with you, you must be delirious," Mr. L scoffed.
"We will be doing quite baffling, adult-themed, high-tech things, actually," Dimentio explained calmly.
"High-tech, eh? Fine, whatever," Mr. L said with a shrug.
So a few short minutes later, they all sat in the kitchen, where Dimentio brought in their first project. "We will be learning to bake a chocolate cake, like preteens with no experience," he said with his usual creepy smile, except it was creepier this time.
"I knew it, we're just going to do dumb not-guy-y stuff!" Mr. L yelled.
"Get some patience, will you? Count Bleck asked with exasperation." Count Bleck sighed.
Dimentio handed them everything they needed to put together the batter, which was a big help. He also gave them one big cookbook to look at. They all started making their cakes. Dimentio noticed that Count Bleck was trying really hard to get everything right, but was rather confused as to which measurement was which; O'Chunks was also trying, but was spilling excess stuff into his bowl due to his large hands; Mr. L was seemingly dumping whatever and however much he wanted into his bowl. When they were all done, the result was a bunch of brown batter. They all carefully put them in the oven, and then Dimentio told O'Chunks to tell jokes until they were done.
So, after forty minutes of senseless nonsense from O'Chunks, the timer rang and everyone scurried to get their cakes out. Dimentio super-cooled them with magic, and then tasted them, starting with O'Chunks, which was very finely shaped like a circle. Dimentio said, "It's too firm, too sweet, and too chocolatey! Don't you know anything! Shape up! You'll never cook for us with that kind of cake-baking attitude!" After that, O'Chunks looked like he was ready to cry.
Next, Dimentio tasted Count Bleck's cake, which was pretty tasty-looking and in the shape of a square. "Ah ha ha! This cake actually isn't bad. Exceptional job, my count!" he said. Count Bleck just smiled slightly. Finally, Dimentio tasted Mr. L's cake, which was basically a mountain-shaped pile. After a few seconds of chewing, he spat it right into O'Chunks' face. While O'Chunks ran around screaming, Dimentio said, "This tastes like nothing but sand and unsweetened chocolate! What on earth did you do?!"
"Eh, I just put some flour, eggs, and chocolate. That's all that goes in a cake, right?"
Dimentio was silent. No words in the universe could describe what he was feeling right now. Except for forbidden ones.
L-ater that day, Dimentio brought the group to the garage, where he presented them with tall, wooden blocks. "Our next project," he said, "is woodworking."
Everyone just stayed silent as they picked up various tools and began to chip. Dimentio just sat there and watched them, without even giving any instruction. O'Chunks looked pretty happy as he chipped, Count Bleck seemed to have a worried look as he chipped, and Mr. L had a nasty, sinister smile as he chipped.
After quite a while, they were all finished. Dimentio came to look them over. O'Chunks sculpture looked unmistakably like a bagpipe. "Very Scottish," Dimentio said. He looked at Count Bleck's, which was basically a butterfly with triangular wings. "Uh, it's...interesting," Dimentio said, weirded out by the count's choice. Then, before going to Mr. L's sculpture, he thought, 'Do I dare?' Then, finally, he looked. He saw some pointy things, two bags hanging underneath, and what looked like a pair of shoes. "What in-between dimensions is that?" he asked. "Is it not obvious?" Mr. L asked, his evil smile on full blast. "It's...your butt!"
Dimentio was silent. No words in the universe could describe what he was feeling right now. Except for forbidden ones.
"Why do you hate on me, like democrats on Donald Trump?" Dimentio asked, with dramatic sorrow in his voice.
"Who's Donald Trump?" Mr. L asked.
"You may not know...but THEY know," Dimentio answered mysteriously.
Even later that day, Dimentio presented his Man Scouts with a rather unbearably tough challenge. He took them outside the castle, and parted the void so that they could see a sunset. "AARGH! The light! It burns!" yelled Count Bleck and Mr. L. Dimentio handed each of them a cardboard toilet-paper tube. "You are now each going to look through this tube directly at the sun. The first one to go blind will be expelled from Man Scouts. The other two will earn their badges for today!"
Count Bleck put a sun-shading cover over his monocle and then looked through the tube. Mr. L pulled his mask over his eyes and then looked. O'Chunks just closed the eye inside the tube. After several hours of just standing there looking at the sun, Dimentio came to look into their tube to make sure they weren't cheating. When they heard him coming, they quickly made the adjustments. Unfortunately, it was rather horrendous to see Dimentio's face instead. "Alright," Dimentio finally said, "I can see that all of you prefer to keep your sight. Very well. You all will receive your badges anyway."
The three guys just looked at each other. Dimentio handed them each a cooking badge, a woodworking badge, and a blindness badge. He included for Mr. L a Haters' Badge. Mr. L, instead of despising it, actually seemed to take pride in it.
So, that was the end of their first day of Man Scouts. Sadly, after this, everybody got busy, and Dimentio seemingly forgot about Man Scouts, and they never did it again. But, O' Chunks, Count Bleck, and Mr. L all still had their badges sewn on in one place or another.