Castle Bleck Craziness

Blood, Sweat and Sweat

One Void Day, Count Bleck whistled through his weird, deformed-lemon-wedge-shaped mouth. He was taking out the garbage, which stretched in a big garbage bag which was slung over his shoulder. He carried it to a big, black dumpster and dumped it in there. Then, brushing his white-gloved hands together, he said, "This will be a productive day, Count Bleck said hopefully."

Dimentio was in a boxing ring preparing to start a match. His opponent, Mr. L, stepped out onto the stage while the crowd cheered and booed and whatnot. A short guy with a handlebar mustache wearing a black vest and red bowtie officially started the match, because he was the referee.

"FIGHT!!" he yelled, and then stepped out of the arena.

Dimentio punched Mr. L instantly, and he fell to the floor.

"Whoa. Did you see that?" asked a guy wearing a green tunic and yellow sunglasses. He had fantastically golden sideburns.

The crowd cheered Dimentio's name. Dimentio spun around, happily enjoying his fame, until a loud, annoying voice seemed to be calling his name louder than everyone else.

"Dimentio Dimentio Dimentio Dimentio Dimentio! DIMENTIO ARE YOU IN THERE?!?!??!" it yelled.

Dimentio shot up, his yellow and purple covers twisted all around his body. A fist was rapidly rapping on his door.

"Go away, Mimi! I was sleeping excellently for the first time in forever!" Dimentio yelled, burying his hat-covered head with his matching pillow.

"Well, too bad! It's....CHORE DAY!!" Mimi yelled on the other side of the door.

Dimentio was so shocked that his mask fell off. He let loose an inaudible shriek and quickly slapped it back on. "Chore day, huh?" he said. He got off his bed and blow-dried his pillow, which had some drool on it. Then he brushed his mask and combed his hat.

He popped out of his room, feeling ready for whatever horrors the day might have in store. It was always a chore living in THIS household, but today, even more so.

He entered the kitchen, and was greeted with a completely wet O'Chunks scrubbing away at the dishes. There were several ginormous pans that didn't fit very snugly in the sink, and O'Chunks kept tilting them the wrong way and relaying a shower onto himself.

"I think what you need is a bathtub, just like a certain mechanic covered in grease stains," Dimentio said, eyeing O'Chunks' annoyingly bad work.

"What did you say, punk?" Mr. L asked, walking in with a broom and dustpan. He was sweeping one pile of dirt throughout the whole castle, steadily increasing its size.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Dimentio said in a happy manner, trying to avoid a REAL boxing match.

Mr. L just grumbled and swept his half-foot-tall pile onto Dimentio's weirdly-shaped black shoes.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," he said. Then he crouched down to sweep the dirt into his dustpan, whacking Dimentio with the broomstick. "Or there," he added.

Dimentio just warped out, his ring of clearness distorting Mr. L's dirt for a second.

He found Nastasia trimming some black hedges outside the castle.

"Dimentio, at last! You need to not sleep so late, 'k? What I need you to do is the laundry, so gather everyone's clothes from the bins in their rooms. And if anyone has clothing on the floor, pick it up, 'k?" she commanded.

Dimentio sighed and warped out without saying anything. He appeared in his own room and levitated all the neon jester outfits out of his dirty clothes bin. Then he made five more stops, until the ball of clothes he was levitating was the size of that metallic bean in Chicago.

He warped to the washer, and dumped it all in there. Then he threw in a packet of chemical-y detergent and started the load. He thought he heard something clunking around in there, but he didn't really care.

At lunch, everybody ate a ton, and Nastasia discovered that she hadn't made enough food. Only Count Bleck didn't stuff his face.

"What's the matter, Count? Aren't you tired and hungry?" asked Nastasia.

"Not really, said Count Bleck..."

"What work did you do today?" she asked.

"Count Bleck took out the trash," he replied.

"What? That's not enough! You have to do more, Count!" Mimi said, chewing on her corn cob like a dog would on a bone.

"Count Bleck is an adult, and can do however much work he likes!" Count Bleck declared, raising his voice a little. Then he settled down and ate.

Nastasia figured she wouldn't argue with him, because, after all, he WAS her boss.

"Yes, well, while we're talking about chores, O'Chunks, you got a sec? The toilet is clogged, and it's your turn to deal with that."

"Nuh-uh! It's Dimentio's turn!" O'Chunks protested, pointing to Dimentio, who stopped mid-bite of macaroni. He vanished instantly, his fork dropping onto his plate. His ring of clearness distorted Mr. L and Count Bleck.

"Well, if Dimentio won't do it, then I guess Mimi can," Nastasia said.

"*$#%**%$#!!?!?" she yelled.

"Let's be a little more E-rated, Mimi. If you unclog our ONLY toilet, you may have extra apple pie after dinner," Nastasia explained.

"I'm gone!" Mimi said, and rocketed to the bathroom to get started.

Dimentio appeared two seconds later.

"For shame, Dimentio," Nastasia said.

When Mimi returned, instead of looking happy, she looked mad. "Somebody stole my diary!" she said, loudly, but not yelling.

"Well, don't look at me," said the whole table.

Suddenly, Dimentio said, "Oh yeah, it's time for me to get the clothes out of the dryer."

He warped to the dryer and opened it. A giant mound of steaming-hot clothes poured out and buried him. He shoved them off and then found something tucked in a pair of shorts. "Oh, great," he said.

Everyone was just finishing cleaning their dishes when Dimentio appeared and slapped a shiny, pink book in front of Mimi.

"My diary!" she said. She was about to accuse Dimentio, but then realized it. "You WASHED my DIARY?!" she yelled in horror.

"How was I supposed to know it was in your dirty clothes hamper?" Dimentio asked calmly.

Mimi seemed to calm down. "I guess I hid it in some shorts and then accidentally put them in the dirty clothes once I forgot," she said.

"Oh well. The episode is solved. Now, why don't we all sit down and watch 'The Hate Boat'?" Nastasia asked.

"An excellent idea. But I think I'd rather go watch 'The Demented'," Dimentio said, heading for the door.

"Once again, Dimentio, that's rated TV-14. You could just watch The Hate Boat, which is only PG," Mimi explained.

"I don't care, The Hate Boat is for kids," Dimentio retorted.

"Actually, it's more like for teens," Mimi corrected.

"Well, exCUSE me, princess!!" Dimentio yelled. Then he went to the living room and sat on the couch and turned on The Hate Boat. Everyone joined him. He ended up crying, and once again, Count Bleck had to hold his tissues for him.