Castle Bleck Craziness

A Wild Vacation

One Void Day, Count Bleck was skiing down a mountain in the Void. He liked to do this. While he was skiing, his phone rang, distracted him, and made him hit a purple rock, sending him flying down the mountain, occasionally bouncing off of it. When he finally landed in a hunk of Count at the bottom, he got up, straightened his monocle, and answered his phone.

"Hey, Count, um, sorry to interrupt your skiing and all, but the minions are demanding a vacation because they work too much, and I was wondering if you could settle this dispute," said Nastasia's voice.

Count Bleck sighed and replied, "Count Bleck will be there in a second."

One second later, Count Bleck appeared in the living room of Castle Bleck, where everyone was yelling; mostly at Nastasia, and some at Dimentio to yell at Nastasia. Everyone stopped when Count Bleck appeared.

"Count, can we go on vacation? Like, to somewhere awesome?" Mimi asked hopefully.

"Actually, Count Bleck was thinking about it, and he thinks that we could go somewhere, and really feel the breath of the wild, you know?" he said.

"No, I don't," Mr. L said.

Then Count Bleck talked to Nastasia privately. While they were gone, the remaining minions had a melee, but the details aren't of interest. When Nastasia and Count Bleck got back, everyone was a little dismantled. 

"We're going on vacation," Nastasia announced. "So, pack clothes. That's all."

"What about entertainment? We gotta have that!" Mimi exclaimed.

"Oh, alright. Only a little, allows Count Bleck," Count Bleck said.

So, once everyone was ready, they got into a big bus and began driving out of the Void. Of course, everyone was instantly playing gadgets or something, except for O'Chunks, who was reading a Civil War book. Dimentio was watching a movie on his tablet called 'The Demented.'

"You know, Dimentio, that movie is rated TV-14," Mimi said.

"So? My age is classified. I think I can handle it," Dimentio replied, snacking on a candy called 'Toxic Waste' while watching somebody scream.

"He acts like he's ten," Mr. L whispered to Mimi. Dimentio's head whipped back in their direction. Laser beams shot out of his eyes and disintegrated Mr. L.

A little later, they arrived at a campsite.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! We can't possibly be going camping! What about my dream of Comic-con?" Mimi wailed.

Count Bleck and Nastasia tuned out all the complaining, since it was pointless to listen to. Once they pulled over into a nice dirt clearing, they all piled out. Dimentio was constantly looking meanly at Mr. L, who he had put back together. Mimi just stood still the whole time since she was worried about getting her clothes dirty. On the other hand, O'Chunks lay down on the ground and took a nap. Count Bleck and Nastasia were struggling valiantly to get the tent set up. Even though they were like the parenting figures, they still seemingly looked upon Dimentio as the oldest kid, so they expected him to help. But he didn't. They just sighed at this, because that's what they expected as well.

Once the tent was ready, the minions hauled in all the sleeping stuff they had had to bring. Mimi brought ten thousand stuffed animals, Mr. L brought a giant tool kit to build something with, O'Chunks brought a thousand Civil-War-related things, and Dimentio brought a king-sized bed that was neon yellow and purple, and therefore a pain to the eyes. Nastasia and Count Bleck had two simple mattresses and pillows. After getting set up and eating a rather unhealthy, vacation-y lunch, everyone piled outside to do something. Count Bleck made a hammock appear, which he intended to lay in, but Mr. L darted into it first. Mimi started throwing rocks into a river that was flowing right by their tent. Dimentio grabbed her hand and said, "Do not disturb the water."

Mr. L came over and said, "Yes, she should disturb the water. An attack from a giant squid or something would really liven the day up, you know?"

Dimentio shot him another dirty look. Man, if looks could kill, Mr. L would have died five times by then.

To clear up the steam, O'Chunks went and rented a horse. Then he launched into a talk about the role horses played in the Civil War. When that was over, everyone wanted to ride it at once, and so they did. Unfortunately, steering it was really hard, and eventually they ran it into the river, and it drowned.

"See? We disturbed the water and that's what we got," Dimentio snapped as they waded out.

That night, Count Bleck lit a fire and they sang songs about death. Dimentio didn't show up, however, so Mimi went into the tent to find him. He didn't seem to be in there, though. So she sat on his bed briefly, and when she did, she heard Dimentio groan. So she got up, and realized he had been lying on it, but he completely blended in. So once she told the story to everyone else, against Dimentio's will, Mr. L said, "That's why you don't sleep in a bed that looks the exact same as you."

Once everyone was in bed, everyone complained about it being too hot. The complaints got so loud you'd think someone was speaking through a megaphone. Finally, Count Bleck cast a spell that made it snow in the tent. Everyone shut up, even though they froze all night.

In the morning, Mr. L and O'Chunks shoveled snow out of the tent, since it had piled up to the roof and everyone had almost suffocated. Then everyone voted as to whether or not they should head back home. It was a 4-2 vote, with going home as the winner. So they packed up all their stuff and stuffed it in the bus. Mr. L made sure to swing his mattress around and whack Dimentio with it. Then they traveled back to the Void, where they had an awesome home with torches on the walls and air conditioning.

"You know, this trip has made me realize that home is kind of like being on vacation," Mimi said.

"Good. That was the point. Now who's hungry for Brussel sprouts and roasted bass?" Nastasia asked.

Everyone groaned. Then they realized that their dog, Void, had died while they were gone. Mimi sobbed, Mr. L shed one microscopic tear, and Dimentio sniffed. Nastasia had a cool idea to roast him and eat him for supper. So that's what they did.