Castle Bleck Craziness

Dimentio's Last Resort

One Void Day, Count Bleck was happily relaxing in his gold-accented bathtub with cucumbers over his eyes (well, one was over his monocle). Unbeknownst to him, he was being spied on—at a bad time. The person spying took some notes. Then they vanished to do more spying. They spied on Mimi happily doing some bed-angels. They spied on Mr. L napping on top of Brobot. They spied on Nastasia pressing a cold pack to her head. They spied on O'Chunks using a robotic masseuse machine that Mr. L had built. You may have noticed that one person was not mentioned here, and that person was the spyer. And, duh, the spyer was Dimentio! Once all his data had been analyzed, he got to work on his project. Once it was finished, he called a meeting among the minions.

"This had better be good," Mr. L grumbled. "I was in the middle of broadcasting a hockey game."

"You're a broadcaster??!!" Mimi asked.

"Duh. I sounded like a broadcaster from birth," Mr. L replied smugly.

"Offense, but you sound like a dying Toad," Dimentio said, studying his papers.

Mr. L then pulled out a tape recorder and played a recording of him singing "Never Gonna Give You Up." Everyone gasped when they realized he had a voice like an angel.

"Unimpressive," Dimentio said, trying to sound like the smarter one. "Now can we please get on with my lecture before I kill you all???"

"Uh, okay Dimentio; calm it down, 'k?" Nastasia said.

Dimentio then adjusted his hat and began, "I have come to the realization that all of us are overworked. Through careful study and experimentation, I have discovered the cure!"

"Yeah, right," Mr. L commented. "I had a good night's sleep and spend all day happily working on Brobot. I'm not overworked."

"That may be what you think, but I've already observed you napping at exactly 3:00 every day for ten days. It seems to be a ritual."

"Wha?! How could you have possibly spied on me ten days straight while I took my nap?! That's despicable," Mr. L exclaimed.

Dimentio just smiled creepily. Nastasia raised her hand and said, "So, you said you had the cure. What is it?"

Dimentio made a rope appear and began to pull it. "The cure is...a break!" he pulled it all the way down and glorious cloud of darkness parted. There, in the midst of all the darkness, sat a...resort?!

"You built us a resort!??! Sweet! I'm outta here! Thanks, Dimentio!" yelled Mimi as she teleported out.

"Well, it is a good idea, thought Count Bleck. A vacation is in order," Count Bleck said.

So they all headed to Dimentio's resort, a sun-drenched white-brick pool-filled paradise. "I'm surprised, Dimentio. I thought it would be all creepy like you always make things," Nastasia said as she sat on a chair. "Although I don't really know how to have fun."

"It's really easy, Nassy! You just have to not have no fun!" Mimi cried as she slid down a giant water slide and splashed into the pool. Count Bleck went straight for the hot tub. Dimentio smiled in an ever-so-devious way, because he knew that's where the Count would go. Nastasia just looked at him suspiciously and noticed a little water dispenser. "Hmm, a cold drink would do me good," she said and went toward it. O' Chunks went to a massaging station run by dead hands (well, at least that part was creepy). Mr. L just stood there and stared at it all. Then he noticed a luxurious green hammock swaying by itself between two palm trees. He looked at Dimentio once. He was just leaning back on a chair and sipping a floating glass of lemonade. Then Mr. L took off for the hammock and quickly jumped into it. "This will no doubt be the best nap ever," he thought. But just when he got comfy, the hammock flipped over. "Ouch," he said. "This is an awfully big hammock. What could've upset it?" He got back on, but every time he did it flipped him onto the ground again. "That's it, I've had it!" he yelled and went to sleep on the ground.

Just when he did, Mimi ran screaming out of the pool. "THERE'S AN EEL IN THE POOL!!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Nastasia came over and said, "How is that possible? You've been swimming in there for minutes now!"

"It swam out of one the water vents," Mimi said, gasping for breath. Then she noticed that Nastasia had a big wet stain on her clothes. "Uh, what happened to you?" she asked.

"Believe it or not, those water cups are dribble glasses," Nastasia said. "I already observed Mr. L having trouble with that large hammock. And the eel was probably not a coincidence. I think it's about time we got out of this resort," Nastasia said. Unfortunately, they didn't have half a second to spread the news when Count Bleck started screaming. "COUNT BLECK IS BEING BOILED ALIVE!!" he frantically yelled. Nastasia and Mimi quickly ran over and pulled him out of the hot tub desperately. He was smoking. "Count Bleck is ready to kill Dimentio," he gasped.

"I think we all are," Mr. L said, coming over. "I can't get one second of rest in this place! After the hammock failed me, a spider kept assaulting me while I slept on the ground," he said.

To top it all off, O'Chunks starting yelling, too. Everyone looking over to see that the dead hands were full-on punching him. They ran over and pulled him off the bench. He didn't talk though, since he knew nobody would bother trying to decode his accent. "You know, I just realized that Dimentio is gone," Mimi said. "Figures," Mr. L replied. "I'm going to fry that guy."

They all ran for the exit, and luckily, nothing prevented them from leaving. Once they all got back to the meeting room, they found Dimentio sitting in a chair, sewing a life-size voodoo doll. "Hello, everyone! So glad to see you back in one piece! How did you like the resort?" he asked, merrily as ever.

"You're dead," Mimi said. Then everyone charged at Dimentio except for Count Bleck and Nastasia. "Count Bleck is thinking that Dimentio should be punished instead of killed," Count Bleck told her. "I think that's a fine idea, Count," she replied. "Everyone, stop beating on Dimentio!"

They all stopped, unaware that they were beating on the voodoo doll instead.

"Dimentio, you hereby have to clean the whole kitchen, 'k?" Nastasia said.

Dimentio's smile drooped a little and he said, "I'd...LOVE to." Then he vanished with a clear poof.

A little bit later, after everyone had revitalized themselves, Nastasia came to check on Dimentio. "I'm done!" he proudly said.

"Did you dust inside the cabinet and clean the oven?" Nastasia asked.

"The oven is shinier than a newborn baby, but I didn't dust the cabinet because there's a teetering pile of crockery in there," Dimentio replied.

"Alright, your punishment is cleared," Nastasia said. Dimentio bowed for some unknown reason and then teleported away. Count Bleck came in.

"Count Bleck left him a note that says he is never to make another resort. That was his last one," he said.

"Good," Nastasia replied. Then she pulled out some food and made sandwiches in two seconds. Everyone came to eat (they prayed first, of course). The whole time they shot Dimentio dirty looks. He just smiled the whole time, as usual. "Dimentio is to be treated as if nothing has happened, commanded Count Bleck," Count Bleck said. Then he leaned over to Nastasia and whispered,

"I did add a felony to his permanent record, though."