Castle Bleck Craziness

Coffee

One Void day, Count Bleck sat at the table reading the newspaper. A purple morning light filtered in from the window as he sipped his #1 Boss mug and that pleasant morning music played.

Just then, Mimi rocketed into the kitchen. "Count, are you drinking coffee?!" she exclaimed.

"What? Oh, uh—"

"GUYS!! THE COUNT IS DRINKING COFFEE!!" she screeched before he could finish.

Mr. L ran in. "Coffee??" he shouted. "You don't say! I drink it to put me to sleep at night."

"What a surprise," Mimi grumbled.

"Yeah, well I love it! There's something about the beany smell that just makes you want to take over the world, y'know?"

"No, I don't," Mimi replied, crossing her arms.

Count Bleck tried to speak. "Minions, this—"

"Who's drinking coffee?" asked Nastasia, walking in. "The Count?!"

"Nastasia, it's just—"

"That reminds me! I haven't had my third cup yet this morning!" she exclaimed, scrambling to fix herself more. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily), she got the last of the instant flakes in the bucket.

"Did someone say coffee?!" shouted Dimentio, appearing. His clear ring distorted the Count's mug. "The sweet gift unto mankind, like fire to a brainless cragnon?"

"Count Bleck did not—"

"I SAY!" shouted O'Chunks, lumbering in. "It BE COffeH!"

"What are you minions going on ab—"

"I can't believe you're drinking coffee without us!!" shouted Mimi.

"Yeah, the instant stuff is almost gone," pouted Mr. L.

"But it's just the Count! He has the right," Nastasia tried to say, probably to hide the fact that she had just finished the last of it.

"Mr. L, how DARE you!! I believe I'M the one that chipped in to buy the instant coffee," interrupted Dimentio. "It's instantness is so instant that... it's instant!!"

"What be Dimentio blabberin' bout?" O'Chunks asked.

"Yeah, who cares if it's instant??" Mimi interrupted. "I've never even HAD coffee, and I wanna try some!"

Mr. L inhale-gasped loudly. "NEVER had coffee? How do you sleep at night??"

"WE'VE GUT TO GET HER SOME!!" O'Chunks shouted.

"Ah ha ha. A fine idea," Dimentio said pleasantly. "But I fear all that caffeine may be too much for her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mimi demanded.

"A hearty coffeh is not for the high-strung," O'Chunks agreed.

"We could just get decaf," Mr. L suggested.

Dimentio gasped. "Decaf is fake, L! That can't be anyone's first experience of coffee! ...Not that I care."

"Well, why don't you go to a coffee shop?" Nastasia suggested, still to hide that she had taken the last of the coffee. "You can find plenty of very good coffees there. And it would be a nice break. ...For me."

"A great idea!" Mr. L exclaimed. "TO THE VAN!!"

"Alrught! We're goin' on a COFFEH TRIP!!" O'Chunks cheered as they headed out the door.

Nastasia grabbed the keys to their unsuspicious heist van from the rack and tossed them to Mr. L, who caught them like some pro sports player or something on his way out. "Just don't even think about coming back without a caramel macchiato with double espresso for me, k?" she shouted after them.