Castle Bleck Craziness

Idiots and Idioms

One Void Day, Count Bleck dabbed his mouth with a napkin. The Bleck family was eating lunch, you see.

"HEY COUNT!! You just gave me a great idea!" Mr. L exclaimed. Then he dabbed. And dabbed again. Then he danced around the table dabbing, until finally Nastasia yelled at him.

"Stop dabbing!" she exclaimed.

"But it's the latest fad!" Mr. L complained, taking his seat.

"Besides, Count Bleck was dabbing his MOUTH," explained Count Bleck.

"Yeah, I know..." grumbled Mr. L. Then he secretly dabbed again, but accidentally spilled Mimi's milk.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" cried Mimi.

"Quit it, Mimi, don't cry over spilled milk," Dimentio said.

"Well I am!" replied Mimi.

Dimentio looked at nobody stupidly.

Later, the Bleck family was roaming around in the yard, which had black grass, a black hill, and a black tree.

"Check out my new-and-improved super jump!" yelled Mr. L. Then he crumpled to the ground so that he was flat. Then he sproinged back up and he went sky-high.

"GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS!!" Nastasia yelled.

Mr. L came crashing down to the ground again. "I hurt my spleen," he said.

"Why don't we play football, suggested Count Bleck?" Count Bleck suggested.

"Sure, Count," replied Nastasia. She grabbed a football and chucked it at Mimi. It tackled her to the ground. Count Bleck blew a whistle.

"The football gets a point!!" he shouted.

"Count, that's not how football works," Nastasia explained.

"Oh. Then, how, Nastasia??" asked Count Bleck.

"You try to stop Dimentio and Mimi from getting the football to your end of the field, 'k?" said Nastasia. "And if YOU should get the ball, try to get it to MY end of the field."

"This is complicated, mused Count Bleck," mused Count Bleck.

"'K...GO!!" shouted Nastasia.

Dimentio and Mimi headed for the football, crashed into each other, and were both sprawled out on the ground.

"GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!!" Nastasia yelled, with an added face-palm.

Dimentio quickly took off his head and threw it at Count Bleck. Count Bleck saw it coming and totally did not want to touch it, so he took his staff and whacked it right out of the Void.

"Suddenly, this is baseball," Nastasia sighed.

"Hey, uh, that was my head," Dimentio said, feeling around.

"Oops. Sorry, Dimentio, Count Bleck gracefully said." said Count Bleck.

Dimentio conjured himself another head and put it on.

"So, uh, got any other ideas for things to do?" asked Mimi.

"OOH! I gut one," exclaimed O'Chunks.

"Hit me," said Mimi.

O'Chunks punched her in the face.

"OW!! I said—I meant—you---uugghhh, never mind," sighed Mimi, rubbing her face. "What's the idea?"

"We can see who can fly the highest!!" O'Chunks said. Then he said, "CHUNKS AWAY!!" and flew into the sky on fart power.

"BUT I JUST DID THAT!!" screamed Mr. L. "Oh well. He's too far gone."

Count Bleck was staring into the empty void of the Void.

"Count, stop staring into space," said Mimi.

"But it's not space, it's the Void," said Count Bleck.

"Well, I don't care," replied Mimi.

"Dimentio, why don't you rake the yard? I'll have Mr. L mow, and Count Bleck can trim the trees," commanded Nastasia.

"And what will you do?" asked Dimentio, narrowing his black-and-yellow eyes.

"I'll drink lemonade and observe your work. Now move!!" she yelled.

"But Dimentio just mowed like a day ago!!" complained Mr. L.

"Well, that was with nail clippers. It needs a real lawn mower this time," replied Nastasia.

Mr. L sighed and grabbed the lawn mower. Dimentio began raking with magic. Count Bleck magically floated up to the trees and incinerated the leaves that were out of place.

"Put some elbow grease into it!!" shouted Nastasia.

"I am. See?" said Mr. L, showing her some brown liquid covering his elbow.

"Ew," said Nastasia. "And GET BACK TO WORK!!"

"This feels like the military," commented Dimentio quietly.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, SOLDIER??!?! DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY!!" shouted Nastasia.

"Well, that will be weird, considering I don't have arms or legs," said Dimentio. But he did the fifty anyway, and it was kind of hard to laugh at.

Soon the whole yard was in good shape. Count Bleck finished like two hours before Dimentio and Mr. L did.

Mimi came running up to them. "IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS!!" she yelled.

Sure enough, furry creatures began pelting their yard. An adorable orange cat with huge black eyes landed in Nastasia's arms. Mimi caught a tiny brown Chihuahua.

"Hey, look! I found a hamster!" exclaimed Mr. L, holding up a teeny white hamster. "I'm gonna call her...THUNDER!!"

"Where did all these things come from, exclaimed Count Bleck!!?" Count Bleck shouted.

"Uh, dat would be meh," said O'Chunks, walking up. "I accident'ly flew out of da Void, and I found a pet store, so I bought a load of 'em!"

"O'Chunks, for shame," said Nastasia. "I never licensed that."

"Sorruh." He said.

"Now we have to get rid of them somehow, observed Count Bleck," observed Count Bleck.

The door to the cellar opened, shedding a little light on the piles of prisoners in Castle Bleck.

An old Koopa looked up. "Has my time come at last??" he asked.

"Nope," said Mr. L.

A flood of dogs and cats poured onto the prisoners. Only the hamster was left, because Mr. L kept her, always hanging out on his shoulder.

"Johnson!! There's a dog in my mouth!!" shouted someone.

Mr. L slammed the door, sealing the prisoners away again. "Yes, well, I don't care!!" he shouted.