Different in the Same Ways

Chapter 10

After we finished the battle, we all went back on the train.

+

It feels like my head has been shot a million times. My hands are covering my head and I'm holding myself up to my knees just sitting, trying to make the pain in my head go away.

I suddenly feel shoulders brush against my own shoulders. I then hear a heavy sigh next to me and say "Tomorrow's visiting day, are you gonna go?"

Ellie just nods her head, too tired to talk.

We both stood quiet for the rest of the ride home. My eyelids started to get heavy and I lay there, blank.

Thump. Thump.

I groan because of movement.

Wait..

I open my eyes to see Luke carrying me bridal style. I close my eyes because I know I'm dreaming. I open my eyes once again to see Luke carrying me. I shake my head fiercely, trying to awake from my nightmare.

Luke looks down at me amused. A smirk on his face formed.

"Please tell me this is a dream." I say terrified.

I then feel his arms unwrap me, and I fall. Straight on my butt. I wince in pain.

"What the heck! Why did you just drop me?! You could of laid me down on my feet you jerk! Why were you holding me anyway?!" I yell angrily.

He slumps his shoulders "Well I wouldn't think you would want Nick to carry you and all the boys had their hands full with other girls and were fighting to see who would carry Jude. Every girl fell asleep. Plus you were the last girl anybody would want to carry." He says calmly.

I stand up straight and brush the dirt off my butt. I walk towards him and slap him once again. He holds his cheek in shock and I walk away from him. With a tear drop from my face.

"I would have rather Nick carry me or woken me up then you." I say sternly.

I really, don't belong here..

I turn to look at every boy holding a girl in their arms. Even Ellie is being held by Alex. Well that's a plus. I rub my arms because of the coldness outside and go ahead of everyone and head to the showers.

+

After I finished showering and brushed my teeth I took out my side braid and let my hair fall over my shoulders freely. I comb through my hair and head to my bed. I scan the room to see no one in the dorms yet. Where is everyone? I shrug my shoulders and just head to my bed not even caring about anything because my body still aches because of Luke. He would be perfect for Jude. I sigh and drift off to my nightmares.

Tomorrow's visiting day.. Great. Just my luck.

+++

"Mother?" I say worried.

"I am not your mother neither do you have a father, or brother. You are no ones family. You are no one." She snaps back at me shutting the front house door in my face.

I suddenly wake up..

It was just a dream Scarlet. Just a stupid nightmare that wants you to be sick. Well satan, you aren't going to win me over. I still have a small bit of my pride left that no one can take from me. No one. Not even Luke.

I shake my head to get rid of the thought and just look around to see that the dorms are empty. They probably forgot to wake me up for breakfast. Oh well.. I don't need any breakfast. I can live without food, even though I missed dinner. I don't need food. My stomach growls, but I just ignore it.

I get up from my bed to get ready. Wait. Today's visiting day. I won't have to get ready because I'm not going. No one will come for me. Just like my nightmare said.

I look at my black watch to see that it's only 9:03. People are still eating breakfast. I flop back onto my bed and dig under my pillow to get my notebook. I open my notebook and flip to the next empty page and start to write what I feel right now.

Empty.

Broken.

Alone.

Sad.

Hurt..

Underneath the writing I start drawing a flower with its petals falling off. One by one. Slowly dying when it touches the bottom, minute by minute.

I close my journal and tuck it back under my pillow. I get up from my bed to get ready for my self training, even though I'm on break. I'm to weak and I need strength. A lot of strength.

I put a plain black t-shirt over my black tank-top and put black skinny jeans over my slim and ugly legs. I let my hair stay over my shoulders and just brush it.

I walk to the sink and sprinkle water over my face and brush my teeth. I put my contacts in and put my black shoes on. Fixing up my shirt, I head out to the shooting area.

Even though I'm by supposed to go with permission or go with a leader, I go anyway, breaking the rules.

Isn't that what the dauntless do after all?