Shade Boy ~prinxiety~

*17*

**trigger warning**
And that's exactly what I did. It was a blur from then. I don't really know all that had happened, only that it was bad. The yelling, the door closing in my face, the tears, the running, the blood that I'm oh-so used to, depression edging me on, giving me reason after reason to keep going, to cut deeper.

Until I did.

The screaming of Patton, crying of prince blaming himself, the small smirk on Logan's lip which made me with this would end quicker.

And the black.

When I wake up, I'm instantly blinded by a glaring light above me. Closing my eyes tightly, I groan ever so slightly at the ache pounding in my head, and open my eyes again. As I look around, I quickly notice where I am. A hospital. When did we get a hospital? I'm not in the real world.. am I?

"Holy mother of jesus he's awake!"
"Patton, for the last time, that's not funny.."
"Roman, I swear to god, look! His eyes are open!"
Are they? Why can't I see anything..? Wait... why am i alive?

I sit up in my bed - well, as best I can -wincing at the miserable stinging of my arms, which seems to snap my senses back to life. In front of me is the father figure I know and love. Red, puffy and bloodshot eyes looking at me hopefully. I turn slightly, seeing a fuzzy prince, features undistinguished. Everything is blurry. Has there always been this high tone ringing in my ear?

I'm coughing. I think I'm coughing. I don't feel connected to my body, I feel almost like.. a phantom. But every cough snaps me closer to my body, and soon enough, I'm there in the room. Awake with them. Alive.

I see Patton go to open his mouth when I'm done with my coughing fit, only to be interrupted by Logan, a small frown settling onto his innocent face.
"Virgil, what the hell was that?"

I guess he was looking for answer, because after about three seconds of not answering, he's yelling at me.
"Is that it!? Are you just gonna sit there and ignore us!?" Us. They're on his side, anxiety. Don't forget your place here.
"You're scaring Patton..." I say weakly, casting my eyes to the upset child like facet. guess he doesn't care, as he goes on yelling and screaming at me to "never pull that shit again" and that I'm going to "wish I succeeded", and by the end, I had slow, hot tears trailing down my face. Just another reason why you're weak.

The wording was funny, though. "You're going to wish you succeeded". As if I didn't already. It's been hours since I got out. No one has asked me why. Asked if I'm ok. Nobody has even said hi. So, I've just been sitting here, letting the screams of Logan and destery get into my heart and crack it from the inside out.

But what does that matter? You don't need a heart. Nobody's ever going to love you anyway.

Sometimes I do wish I could pretend everything was normal. But they're not. And I'm not a lier.

~~~~~~
Yoo have i actually done anything this year? You know I logged into this account and had 816 notifications. Also it's 5:30 am and I haven't slept yet so yeah goodnight