Awful Things ☆ LiL PEEP

☆ chapter twelve ☆

"We had all of it planned out, baby girl, what the fuck is the plan now? We had all of it planned out, baby girl, who the fuck is your man now? We had all of it planned out, baby girl, what the fuck is the plan now? We had all of it planned out, baby girl, who the fuck is your man now?"
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once i had realized gus had already noticed me, i decided that it would be even more awkward if i were to drive away and pretend it never happened. he entered the doors that led back inside, and moments later he was exiting the door to come meet me.

"yo, what are you doing here? not that i'm not excited to see you." he said with a smile.

"listen, i have absolutely no idea. do you wanna go for a ride with me?"

"fuck it, lets go."

ten minutes later we were sitting in a mcdonald's parking lot eating big mac meals, ruining our stomachs for the night. it was my treat, even if he is the famous rapper i'm not gonna let him pay for everything—although it surely annoys him.

"so you never told me exactly why you showed up," he commented, although it was slightly mumbled in between chewing his fries sipping his dollar coca-cola.

"well, i did say i had no idea—which was true. i don't know, i'm going through some things so i decided to get out of the house for a minute," i sighed and continued, "i don't even know how i remembered the way to your house and i'm sorry i showed up uninvited, i just kind of drove wherever the wind took me."

gus grinned at me, finished his big mac with one bite while smacking his lips obnoxiously and then wrapped me into a huge hug—much like the one he held me in last night.

"you don't ever have to apologize, evie. it's all good in the proverbial hood." i laughed at his use of the word 'proverbial' and just shook my head at him.

"if you don't mind me asking, what's exactly going on to make you so stressed out?" he wondered aloud.

i quickly tried to decide whether or not i'd disclose my person issues with him, and i decided to just tell him because i had in fact told tracy yesterday—so peep surely deserved to know as well, right?

"i like, have a crippling addiction to xanax."

he stared at me.

we both stayed quiet for at least five minutes, both waiting for the other to say something. i kept quiet, and i blinked back at him. his expression was unreadable, and i didn't really know what to do.

"let's go," he stated and stood up from the parking block he was perched upon. i stood up with him and followed his lead to my parents vehicle. "let me drive." his voice wasn't demanding but i knew he wasn't playing around and oddly enough i trusted that he'd take care of me.

i slid into the passenger seat after tossing peep the keys and he opened the drivers side door.

millions of thoughts were running through my head at this point. is he disappointed in me? is he mad at me? he doesn't even know me—why should i care?

where is he taking me?

the drive was quiet and there wasn't even a single sound coming from the radio.

i so desperately wanted to reach out and turn up the volume so i could end this uncomfortable silence but every now and then i'd catch him staring at me out of his peripheral vision, so i stayed put.

i'm a very short girl, 5'2 to be exact, so it wasn't very hard to curl up in the passenger seat comfortably. i sat sideways with my legs to my chest, facing gus's right side.

his crybaby tattoo had to be one of the most recognizable ones. the rose that winded up his cheek was another, and the little tiny wave with a shark fin coming out of the water had to be my favorite.

it was so simplistic with a little crescent moon above it, and i'd have to ask him about it if he ever gets over being weird with me.

this silence is destroying me considering i'm an over thinker. i'm literally over thinking my over thinking. it's not a very healthy situation.

i watched as gus started doing something—pulling his phone out of his pocket and plugging it into the aux cord of my parents car.

when the song started playing, i knew exactly what it was. praying to the sky.

i never thought peep was the kind of guy to just casually listen to his own music, but i appreciated it because it got rid of the silence and it was one of my favorite songs by him.

i felt myself calming down after a few moments of panic, and then i felt my eye lids becoming a little heavier. how could i sleep in a situation like this?

my eyes were closed and i was dozing off, my legs slightly falling lax from their previous position and before i could officially fall asleep i felt a large hand caress my thigh in a gentle, caring way.

i peeked open my eyes just a little bit and i could tell gus had no idea i was watching him this time. i absolutely adore how cute he is, but i'd never bring this up (the hand-leg thing) in fear of embarrassing him of his romantic (intended or not) gesture—because i guarantee he only did it because i had fallen asleep.

he's a softie, and even if he won't admit it, i know it for sure now.

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