Awful Things ☆ LiL PEEP

☆ thirty-six ☆

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GUSTAV

Life can be confusing. Everyone knows that, sometimes more than others.

I personally never thought I would be caught up in a situation like this. My best friend being in love with my girlfriend, the girl I've actually put the most time into ever, is kind of a slap in the face.

You can't control who you love and I guess I can't blame the poor guy for falling head over heels for her, I mean, I did—Why wouldn't he?

I guess it's just the fact that they've been in such intimate situations together and he was there for her in times I couldn't be that bothers me. All those times I was comfortable with some of the comments he would make in regards to her? All those times he knew more about her than I did? I don't know how to stomach this.

I pulled my dark jean jacket on before I gathered my phone and pack of cigarettes to go stop at Evelyn's parents house, where I knew I needed to speak to her about this. She's the only person I have left, especially after both Tracy and Wicca left. Coldy and Goth are nowhere to be found and haven't contacted me in days—I guess I'm gonna have to start reaching out to some new people.

Driving there, I kept questioning myself. Has Evelyn known about Bexey this entire time? Why wouldn't she tell me if she did? I keep asking myself all these questions but it's doing no good, there's no way it could. I need to talk to her about the problem and pray she doesn't lie about it. She's not the enemy here, right?

It didn't take too long to get there. I've memorized the route so well now that I could drive here with my eyes closed. I can't believe her and I haven't even actually been together that long and we've been through so much crazy shit together. I can't believe I'm going have to leave her soon.. I don't know what I'm going to do without her.

Speaking of which, it was kind of risky not telling her we all were leaving. Also kind of shitty of me if I'm being honest. She's the only thing I have here and she's all I want. Unfortunately I've put our relationship at risk by hiding things but hopefully she'll be able to look past it considering she's looked past everything else I've put her through, but I'm really trying not to take advantage of that.

I picked up my phone and texted her 'here' as I parked in the driveway. She texted me back, telling me to come in and so I let myself in the front door. I remember coming here the first time and how nervous I was.. Meeting her parents, meeting her favorite cousin.. Watching that cousin beat somebody to a bloody pulp in the Taco Bell parking lot.

Shit happens.