Awful Things ☆ LiL PEEP

☆ chapter fourteen ☆

"I know It's cold outside but, the last thing I wanna do is let you in. Baby, you know I'm right. We really fucked up this time. All of the nights I spent without you, thinkin' about how you're with him. Baby, you know I'm right, we really fucked up this time."
___________

i gulped.

what the fuck was that supposed to mean?

apparently i had spoken out loud because peep replied to me—but only repeated himself.

"that doesn't make any sense!" i shouted, panicking at this point.

"go."

"what?"

"go to the edge." he clarified. i shook my head. there's no way i'm going to do that.

"you will, or else." i quickly began trying to think about how i would get out of this. he did say he wouldn't be killing me, and there's no possible way he would, right?

i did as i was told, which i've always done in life, and got closer to the edge.

i tried to stop before i was at the very tip of the cliff, but gustav ushered me to the very end.

"okay, evie. you wanna die so bad? jump then."

my eyes opened wide. did he just say what i think he did?

i never even specifically said i wanted to die. all i did was talk about my addiction. i thought we would be able to relate to each other better if maybe i talked about it, and now i just feel bad.

"are you serious?" i questioned him, peering over the edge.

"dead." he's dead serious. jesus christ..

the fall was really far and if i did do it, it would probably be the most painful thing ever. could i at least get some heavy pain killers before i did it?

i definitely would die. there's large, sharp rocks all the way down the cliff side that id definitely
hit my head off of at least a couple of times. i would definitely get cut whether on the rocks or trees, so i could suffer from some blood loss.

"what if i survive?" i questioned.

"you wouldn't." he stated with utmost certainty and without emotion.

"how do you know?" i questioned in a small, childlike voice. i'm terrified to say the least.

"a friend of mine died down there. he killed himself," i gasped unintentionally. "so are you gonna do it or what?"

"why did you bring me out here?" i felt the warm, salty tears running down my face but nothing else was moving. peep turned his head so he wasn't looking directly at me.

"do you wanna die?" he asked.

"i never said i did." i explained.

"you act like you do."