Awful Things ☆ LiL PEEP

♡ twenty-six ♡

"i don't wanna stop now, i don't wanna stop now. but, i gotta leave it alone. is it 'cause i'm hot now? it's prolly 'cause i'm hot now. bitch, you better leave me alone. first, i cut you off, then i cut you down. shit go off, when i come around. i don't never come around. bitch, i'm gettin' hunnids now."
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the day davey had left, gustav sent a text to evelyn inviting her over. he missed her a great deal and it was strange going so long without seeing each other considering they were almost together everyday since they met; besides the time evelyn tried to disappear.

"peep, i don't know what to say. it's like i've known you forever, but at the same time i feel like i hardly know nothing about you." he stared down at evelyn's shoes choosing his next words carefully.

"you don't really know me, but isn't that what making friends is for? getting to know each other?" she smiled at him bashfully, not exactly sure of herself in this moment. knowing what to say at the right time was never exactly her strong suit, but he didn't mind.

"i guess you're right. i'm sorry if i seem dramatic but i truly care about you and am just trying to make this all run smoothly." her hands balled into a fist down by her sides out of anxiety and he took a couple of strides forward to place his hands on top of her shoulders.

"you worry too much," she nods in agreement. he isn't telling her anything she doesn't know. "but that's okay, i do too." gustav has a good way of making her feel like she isn't alone, and after a month of knowing him, it's beginning to grow on her. not being alone.

he gently leaned his head down, attempting to not startle her by any sudden movements. "can i do something?" he whispered. although they had gotten farther than this before, he still asked for her permission.

she nodded her head yes and then, gustav brought his lips down upon hers. ever since their last encounter she had been craving this kind of affection, from him only, but they just hadn't quite had the time. in between davey visiting, benjamin acting like a damn fool and just a mix of other things, there was really no time for the two to enjoy each other's company.

it didn't take long for the pair, gustav and evelyn, to find a rhythm in their movements. their lips carefully and cautiously moved against each other, neither one wanting to push this too far.

evelyn pulled away and drew in a deep breath, heart pounding and cheeks burning a bright pink which made gus smirk to himself.

"what is this? what are we doing?" evelyn asked the age old 'what are we?' question, but gustav was prepared for this and wasn't made uncomfortable by it.

"whatever you want," this time he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a tight hug—tripping them up, resulting in the two falling down onto his bed laughing. "sorry." he apologized, but he didn't really feel that bad because now he was closer to her.

evelyn kicked her shoes off without losing focus on the man next to her. "i've always gotten what i wanted in life. i would really like to do what someone else wants for a change." he cuddled up to her left side, softly placing his head on her chest and right hand on her stomach; playing with the hem of her plain black t-shirt.

"it's okay to be happy. it's okay to get what you want. you are a very considerate person, so i know you haven't let it get to your head and make you a brat." she giggled and gus listened to her heart beat accelerate; the sound giving him a strange sense of peace.

"i appreciate you saying that, gustav. i just know one day it all could be gone," she paused, taking in a deep breath "anything could be, so i'm trying to be appreciative of what i have instead of what i don't."

"that's a good way to live life, i think."

she smiled and brought her free hand up to tenderly play with the soft tendrils of his bleach blonde hair. this was a moment of serenity for the duo and neither of them wanted to mess it up.

"but, if i were to tell you what i want," gustav mimicked her deep intake of breath and continued "it may hurt in the end and that's a pain i have steadily tried to avoid for a long time now."

although evelyn has never been in a relationship before, she tried to be as understanding and sympathetic to this situation as she could be.

"relationships aren't perfect, i'm not perfect and i can't promise things would run smoothly all of the time, forever, but i know i would never hurt you in anyway you've been hurt before." she tried to reassure him.

gustav genuinely wanted to believe her, but his extensive trust issues and several instances of betrayal in his life just kept hammering at the back of his mind. although, he thought of evelyn as someone with a pure soul. maybe she did deserve a chance, maybe he did deserve to let himself be happy for once.

the room had a soft golden glow from a lamp in the corner and the temperature of the area was enough to make anyone fall asleep. gus released evelyn and sat up, dragging his comforter back down with him so they both could be covered up and returned to his original position.

"i think i trust you." he admitted to the girl who held him so close in her arms. he felt important with her, even good enough to deserve her. that was something he had struggled with since they first became friends, and now the thought is slowly disappearing.

"maybe you should think on it a few days, but just know i will be here for you regardless of your decision. i care about you, gus. nothing will change that." evelyn rolled onto her side to face him and stared into his beautiful brown eyes.

he had never truly looked at her like this before; with a swollen heart full of affection and curiosity. somehow the subtle freckles that were on her face stood out more prominently, the emerald green color of her eyes reminded him of a lush forest and her chocolate brown hair was kind of a little messy from laying on it, but even the stray hairs seemed to be in a perfect place to him.

not sure of the feeling he was really feeling, he decided to keep it to himself.

evelyn watched the strange boy with a level of awe; he was enigmatic and definitely not average, but that's what drew her even closer to him. not because of his looks, but because of the way he could light up a room with only a smile; sometimes literally if the light was reflecting off his grill.

gustav's chuckles and giggles were very different ways of laughing but both of them were music to her ears. he made her feel alive, like she had a purpose again and brought back color to her very grey life.

of course she was scared of certain things that came along with being with him, like him touring and ultimately she knew she would have to see him struggle quite a bit and not be able to do anything but be supportive and do what he needed her to do.

whether that may be encouraging him not to drink one night, being there while he pukes up his guts up because he drank too much or just generally holding his hand through whatever dark tunnel they had to explore together; she would try her very best to always lead him back to the light.

and he would do the same.

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Once again, I am so genuinely sorry for the delay. Was this a good chapter? Do you like the third person POV? Should Gus get another POV chapter?