Your man

Fifteen

Singto couldn't look away Arthit was in front of him.  He scanned every detail on Arthit' face.  The image scared him.  Arthit seemed to have aged a lot.  Singto wanted to touch him.  He balled his fists.  He wasn't going to act on an impulse.

"I wish that bullet had killed me Arthit," he said instead.  "After all these years I still couldn't forget you.  And now that you are right in front of me I don't know what to do.  I want to move on but I can't," he started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Do you see this scar Arthit?  It reminds me day and night of what an idiot I was.  Shit, I still am. After everything, I can't bear to see you like this."

"Do you hear me?" Singto said trying to take deep breaths.  He felt hot tears pooling in his eyes.  "Did you ever love me?  Tell me Arthit!"

Singto gave in.  He had been suppressing his pain for too long.  In a sudden movement, he hugged Arthit.  Arthit didn't hug him back, and he didn't wipe his tears away.

Singto felt Arthit's heartbeat against his.  At least Arthit was alive.

A nurse appeared before them with a food tray.

"I'm sorry Khun, I have to feed him," he said apologetically.

"If you don't mind, can I do it?" Singto asked.

"I'm afraid it's not an easy job Khun."

"Please let me try," Singto insisted.  He looked at Arthit, "It's not my first time feeding him."

"Do you know this patient?  It's the first time he's had a visitor," the nurse replied.

"Never had any visitors?  What about his parents?  Or friends?" Singto asked surprised.

"Not that I know of," the nurse said after thinking for a while.

Why couldn't he hate Arthit in peace?   Why did he have to keep being pathetic?

Singto took the bowl of soup bringing the spoon to Arthit's lips.

Arthit's gaze met his.

"What happened to you Arthit," Singto wondered out loud.  "Why aren't you with Knott and Bright?"

*************************

Whenever he had the time Singto visited Arthit.  He liked to believe it made a difference.

"Ai Sing, you are doing it again," Jean said, cornering him at work.

"Doing what?"

"Getting involved with Arthit.  Haven't you learned a lesson already?" Jean asked angrily.

"I doubt he can shoot me again Jean," Singto replied.

"That's the point.  He shot you.  Why are you pitying him?  I've meant to talk to you about this.  We don't know why he is there."

"The chief said he doesn't know either."

"You believe the chief?" Jean asked.  "He arrested Arthit and never told us.  Which is absurd when you are the main witness."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Somebody from the inside helped them Singto."

"We have to find Knott or Bright," Singto replied.

*************************

"I will find your little friends soon Arthit," Singto said as he fixed Arthit's hair.  "I won't rest until I find out what happened to you."

Singto tried something new each time he met Arthit hoping for some miracle.  He pulled out a shirt from his bag.  It was the shirt he had taken from Arthit the first time they had sex.

"You didn't know I had it did you?  I cherished every memory I had with you, and you thought I betrayed you.  I betrayed my colleagues and my job.  I went against direct orders to be with you!" Singto sighed.

Why was he even trying?  He put the shirt back in his bag and looked at Arthit.  His eyes widened in shock, Arthit was bleeding from his nose.  He was staring back at Singto.

"Arthit!  No!  What's going on?" Singto called for a doctor immediately.

"He is reacting to you, look his pupils are dilated.  His blood pressure is extremely high.  What did you do to trigger this reaction?  I'm sorry Khun, but I need you to step back."

"Please doctor, let me stay with him."

"We have to calm him down first before he gets a heart attack.  Please leave.  Nurse get this patient back to his room," the doctor ordered.

*************************

"Fang!  Tell me how he is.  What did the doctor say?" Singto asked panicked.

"P' Sing.. he had to be sedated," Fang answered quietly.  "You can see him some other time.  I don't think you should see him like that too."

Singto buried his face in his hands.  "I did this to him!"

"P', don't be ridiculous.  He could get triggered at any moment.  Once he reacted to a song, I was humming... wait, a second..."

"What?" Singto asked.

"It's the song you recommend to me.  The Mandarin one.. oh no... P' Sing.. he remembers you."

Singto's feet had given in.  He sat on the floor.

Arthit...