Blackmailed for Love

6. Love is in the air

its true that a person can never understand his own self but is very good at understanding others. Becoz we humans always run from our own feelings and fears but its quick to advice others

That is why i know natalie and she knows me unlike being the opposite. We should know ourselves the best but i guess that is just not possible

" you were not looking for booze over here but you are just running from yourself rose " i didn't even denied and i dont want to anymore

" thats wat he used to call you right? chill. I'm here for you. just tell me whats wrong coz i guess ryt now no one will understand you better than me "

" how did you guess? "

" i saw the fear in your eyes. and that fear was not directed for jacob but it was for him. i even saw your sudden change. stop fighting from the truth and stop fighting from yourself honey. tell me wats rong? "

" from wer do i start? " we both were sitting on our knees. Not only coz we were hiding from the view of boys but also the load of our feelings are to heavy and we just couldn't stand it.

God what am i saying

" from the beginning obvio. its good to say it out loud " he unlatches the bottle and pour two glasses for us. The new me is not so opposed to drinking.

" Beggining. you mean? from wer we met or from the part you already know " there was a guilt in her eyes and i instantly regretting my words.

" from wer i know. i knew he used to blackmail you and he mentioned a bit about some photos the day we made our deal. i always thot that you of every girl who sleeps with guys and that he might be using against you but i guess that was only one side of a story which even alex didn't got to know till the day of your accident "

i told her everything from start to end and she was shocked beyond words and also omitting the part jacob is gay but just said alex threatened to kill everyone i love if i don't go according to him.

" oh rose. why the fuck did you never said him? i know alex can be a real pain and i can only imagine what might he have done with you "

" you know why. just for jacob  and I'm do scared for jacob becoz i dont want to loose him and the amount of hatred i see in his eyes scares me. He's not that type of guy "

" now i understood why the bond between you and jacob is so strong. God does such real good people still exist in this world. I'm sorry but ive seen so much bad around me that its hard to believe that humanity does exist "

" i don't know anything about that nats i just know ryt now is i guess i like alex and yes i realised it wen i just cant still bear the thot of jacob hurting alex and still i sometimes want to see him once  nd no matter how much i try to hate him for the things he's done to me i could not bring myself to hate him and i hate myself more for that. Yes he tortured me to the very core but sometimes he used to be so sweet so gentle so loving. Does that make me sound crazy? Whats wrong with me? "

" not at all sweetheart. I've studied in a blog that strong passion evolves from same feeling. I mean hate and love has a very thin line just like pleasure and pain. You hated alex so much at one point amd the little gentle things he used to do you might made you confuse and you focused all your thots on how to change or maybe destroy or maybe get away from him that now your mind cant digest the empty feelings without alex " she said all that in one breath and i was shocked

" wow. Am i talking to the same bitch natalie. excuse my words but that was some shit "

" well you changed me " she shrugged and i shook my head.