Blackmailed for Love

7. You want me dead

And i know wer he is "

All my drowsiness was out of the window as soon 🔜 as i realised natalie knows wer he is.

Alex.

Natalie knows wer alex is.

I was about to ask her but someone entered and it was jack.

" oh my god. What happened to her?we both were laying on our backs but natalie was totally out now.

" drunk 🍺😜 "

" what happened. What noise was that? " chris entered too

" she wont be up till morning 🌄🙋 now "

" ohhhh. " jacob carried her away. I was about to say don't try any hanky panky but sealed my mouth shut.

" you are ok? " Chris asked

" yes I'm perfectly fine 😑" a big big lie

" me and jacob were checking the social media. you've got some real good fans now. I'm sure we'll find alex soon "

" i hope so " as much as i want to see him just once i wish they never find him. I don't want him behind bars but first i want to know the truth of his past and only chris can give me my answers.

But how do i ask him and knowing that i like alex now should i break up with him. Of Course i should but what will i tell him

Hey chris i would like to break up  with you because I've fallen for my blackmailer

" hows nina? " I huff and ask instead. He was filling a glass of water for me. 

" real cranky. I've hired a maid for her to take care of her but she tolerates no one else except me. you know she always craves for pickles and also to specify the lemonade 🍋 one and home made one which is available limited. "

" Hows the baby 👶? "

" the baby is perfectly fine. you know I've felt her kick and move and that small blip you can see in sonography is breathtaking. she wants to name him Christine " Does he think I'm half drunk so I won't remember anything tomorrow that's why being so blunt. No he's Chris. He doesn't have anything to hide. 

" and wen it is due? "

" This week. But the doctors says the pain can start any time. so i keep calling nina every hour just to check her if she's fine "

He's so lost in the conversation 🗯 that he don't even realise that he is discussing his ex gf with his current gf. What the hell was this feeling i got just now.

Does he still have feelings for her.  I'll bash his head 🙆.

Wait a moment. What a bitch move.  If I can like Alex why can't he like her. 

Is he having the same thoughts of breaking up with me.❓ Is he with me out of pity. is he still in love with nina❓

Am i overthinking. Maybe he's just happy excited about the baby. Maybe he's just in stress. And if he had anything to hide he might not have been so blunt with me.

" chris? Did you had a word with her? Who is the father? "

" yes rose i did. She just keeps on repeating that he left me coz he was blindly in love with someone and he was a bastard. Used and left her "

" do you believe her? "

" what other option i have rose? "

" that's not what i ask chris. "

" doesn't matter what i believe. She is my past you are my present and my future. Rose I'm sorry I'm not giving you much time. Lets go out for brunch tomorrow coz you probably won't be up for breakfast. Just you and me " i nodded and we hugged and I embraced him. 

Exactly what I wanted right now. You and me and some alone time. But not for us. Coz I want to know Alex past.

The thot of telling him that i like alex and i want to know about his past makes me want to hate myself

I should tell him i like Alex

" Chris "

" Hmmmm? "

before i could even had the chance to talk anything more with him someone pulled me i guess it was hazel and jack pulling everyone on the dance floor and we all were dancing and having fun. For just some moments forgetting our problems and have fun

We both were dancing and I once again tried to tell him before its too late and so I stop feeling like a cheater

A cheater alex accused me whole time. Now since he knows all the truth how he might have coping up with everything. Knowing him he might be guilty and hurt.

I like him

But does he like me 

Will it be worth going back to him.

I should tell Chris before I make up my mind of not to. 

But all happiness and the moment and everything shattered with a phone call

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all were waiting outside the operation theatre and praying to god that i hope we were not late🏃

Chris was hyperventilating. Pacing back and forth from the past four hours he has not even once settled down but i guess that's how he is.

Coz natalie said me once that during my stay at hospital chris was same as like now. I guess he is just a good man and cares for everyone.

And leaving a good man I want to go back to a bad man. Why this feelings are so complicated.

But if i don't like him should i be happy if he doesn't like me back.  I guess I'm just scared of being alone and reliving the thoughts of alex. If I spend more time with Chris I'll be fine. Am i using chris.

Jacob and jack brings coffee ☕ for everyone as we wait in the waiting lounge. Chris refuse. I take the cup from him for Chris.

I patted his back and hugged him for comfort. I handed him the coffee but he refused

" For me. Please " And he gladly accepted and gulped all that hot coffee in one sip and handed me back. 

" chris she will be ok "

" i just hope i was not late bringing her here. God knows how much pain she might have gone through wen i wasn't der "

" It's normal. Pain at such moments is normal. And we were there on time. The maid took care of her.

" But when I saw her she was in so so so much pain. She was gone all red 🔴 from pain 😢

" chris do you love her? " And with that statement I felt as if I blew him right on his face.

" How could you even think like that rose. I've been saying again and again and again that I love you👉. You are my present and future she's my past. Isn't that enough for you. What more do u want from me.  What more could I do.  Should I just bleed my heart out and show to you that I love you. Will that be enough. You want me lying on the death bed beside nina. You want me dead rose you don't trust me. It's better i die. "

You want me dead. No Chris no. I'm sorry. I misunderstood your good ness as love. I should've trusted you Chris. I should stay with you. What was my stupid brain even thinking.

Being with you is better than going back to Alex

Just bear my typos and grammar and everything. I wanted to give a chapter but can't edit. 

25th December 2018

Wow just writing this date here I just realised I broke up with my ex last year on this date.  I really don't know where my life is heading. I have so many fuckin questions but no answers. Nothing moves forward