Comatose | Sequel To: Enigma |

Ch.15 - Let's Start Over

A/N : The last chapter of this book and the last chapter of Mira and Thorin's love! Thank you all for reading my story and I can't believe it's come this far! There's a section that basically goes through all the chapters from the first book, so we can relive them! Mira loves you all!

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Cold. Everything was cold. At least that's how I imagined it to be. My entire body trembled uncontrollably and there wasn't a single ounce of heat. The amount of work my muscles were doing, created a slight ache in my limbs. Fear is the only emotion I feel as I swim through this endless void. My eyes don't have to be open, for me to know I'm in darkness. I've been in this kind of world before. Many times over. But those times involved a treacherous witch. Where did she even disappear to anyway?

Wench ruined my life and she could've at least said goodbye. The tears behind my closed lids fall and it makes my face even colder. I despise the feeling but I expected no less from death. For it is miserable and certain for all. I sigh heavily out of habit, even though there's no breath in my frozen lungs. Oh how much I miss the sound of my beating heart. I didn't think I would long to hear such a simple yet important rhythm.

I'm dead. I mentally say to myself, my body swiftly turning on its own. The emotions I currently feel are nonexistent and I am unable to register any pain. My name will be remembered as a nightmare and I'll be written off as less than worthless. So much agony and yet I am unable to experience any of it.

That usual sting in my eyes and soreness in my nose will never be there as I cry. My throat will never be sore from weeping and the headaches won't arise. I won't feel my stomach tighten in hunger. Nor will I feel my mouth quench for a drop of water. Exhaustion won't dull my senses and I wouldn't even be tired in the first place.

I won't get to see how the world will shape over the years. The forest that's become my home won't have to shelter me anymore. Voices of others won't ever hit my ears and I won't be in anyone's presence. No touches of comfort will be given and I won't have to worry about betrayal, loyalty or trust.

Those types of things aren't permitted for the dead.

The friends and family I have are erased from this new world of mine. Gandalf did his best to bring Thorin and I back together but I failed him. I failed them all. Now both Thorin and Alavar are lost from me once again. And I doubt the Wizard is able to come up with a plan for this. Even his powers have limits.

I'm completely cut off from the world. Blind to everything. I won't know if Alavar was ever found safe or if Thorin even made it out alive. At the time, I was trusting what I felt and wanted to go with peace. But look at me. There's so much I don't know. So much I let unfold. And now it's causing what's left of my mind to become scrambled.

I've ruined Thorin's life even further. His memories of the past decade have returned, but he lost me again right after. He'll be destroyed over my death and won't have time to grieve properly. His mind will be focused on the marriage happening as soon as he's home. And Fili will have a war to worry about, if Thorin refuses to go through with it. Alavar won't be treated properly by that poor excuse of a woman, putting more stress on Thorin.

I squeeze my eyes tighter, hating myself for what I just made my mate go through. In the heat of the moment, killing me seemed to be the only option. My bloodlust was at it's peak and control was out of reach. I nearly killed Thorin even when I wasn't fully shifted. If I lasted any longer, I would've ended up exactly like my mom. Corrupted and merciless. I was too dangerous to exist anymore. But I didn't think it would cause things such as this. The only good thing about being here, is that I no longer have those desires. My body won't have to constrict in pain and that side of me is now gone. That weight has been lifted from my shoulders but has been placed with an even heavier load.