Piece by Piece {COMPLETED}

Feelings

Maya's POV

The weeks slowly pass by, every day the same. I learn that once I'm using my ankle fully again, I need lots of physical therapy. They don't think I'll walk normally again though. We found a physical therapist in NY, so I can go home asap.
Lately, I've felt so torn between two lives. My life here, and at home in New York. I mean, of course I miss everyone at home to pieces, but I also feel like I have a family here— except for my dad who doesn't really want anything to do with me.
The days pass by slowly. I try to get the most out of them, but at the same time, I'm trying to rush through them. I wish someone else understood what this felt like. Morgan keeps asking me why I'm always so quiet. I just tell her that I'm deep in thought, which is true for the post part. She asks what I think about and I tell her that I don't really know.
She's very respectful of my feelings and stuff, I always know she's there for me. I just can't talk to her about that, she wouldn't understand.
I don't get much sleep anymore, I just can't. I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore. I mean, I'm glad my ankle is healing and stuff, but I feel like I'm torn into a million pieces.
I miss Shawn. He's always good at putting me back together. And wow, I can't believe I'm saying this but, I miss Mr. Matthews' lessons. I miss everything at home.
I miss Lucas.
All of a sudden, a million feelings and memories rush back to me. I remember that day, when my life literally changed. I can't go back and deal with Charlie Gardener's shit again, I just can't.
I start to panic cry just thinking about it. I curl up on my bed where I'm supposed to be doing school, and cry. After a little while of continuous sobbing, Morgan comes up.
"I was wondering what that sound was," she sits down beside me, "what's wrong sweetheart?"
I continue to cry, unsure of what to say. She strokes my hair and tries to calm me down. I was literally having a panic attack.
"C'mon Maya, I can't fix it unless you tell me what's wrong."
I finally catch my breath, "You can't fix this."
"Do you want to tell me about it, you never know, nothing's impossible."
I take a deep breath, "Fine, I've only told one other person about this, so please don't tell anyone else."
"Okay."
I wipe my red, teary eyes and begin, "So, it all started on the day I broke my ankle..."
I explain everything, I can see Morgan tearing up by the end.
"So, yeah. I was happy to get away from all that by coming here. I'm really scared to go back."
"Ohhh Honey, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! And you haven't told anyone but me and one other person?"
I nod.
"That other person was the one who helped you after he dropped you, right?"
"Yeah, Zay."
"Maya... I don't know what to say! I'm just so so so sorry."
"Don't be sorry, you had absolutely nothing to do with it."
We sit there in silence for a little while. A realization hit me out of the blue; this isn't the Maya I'm supposed to be. Maya would never cry, or spill all her secrets, or let some guy bully her. She was always strong.
That's the Maya everyone expects me to be. I don't think that Maya is here anymore, I think she's been gone for quite some time now. Everyone may have not seen me as myself during that "identity crisis" I went through last year, but I've always been me. Over time, people grow and change. That's just what I did, why can't anyone accept that?
Of course I still like Lucas, no, I'm not like Riley, I'm me. Me is just different. Weaker. More sensitive. A little more broken. But still. Me.
I'm glad this family accepts me now, probably because they don't know who I was. It's amazing how someone can take you in and love you unconditionally, like Morgan has. Topanga really did that too.
I don't know what will happen next, the future is more of a mystery now that it has ever been. I am torn between two home, two families, and two lives. What am I gonna do?

A/N
hey guys! here's a lil deep chapter for ya. i feel like i needed to dig really deep into maya's feeling so we know what's going on in her head, which is clearly a lot😂
anyway, i hope you enjoyed this! if you have any ideas or feedback pls comment!
also tysm for 3k reads if i didn't say that already😂
-shawna