Hers

1 Normalcy

I get ready like I normally do. Even though I want to stay in bed with my sorrows. I have to pretend to be okay. Pretend to be together but I'm not. I'm far from it. I'm broken and hurt. I want to forget about it and move on. I want that more than anything. But how can anyone be okay after what happen this summer?

My family was torn apart, it still is. My mother has not healed and neither have I. The amount of disrespect and betrayal she must still feel makes my empty stomach turn. She doesn't know it but I hear her crying at night because of him.

I hear her sobbing through her bedroom door. I can only imagine what she has to do to get through the night. The mental image of my mother clutching her pillow and crying endless tears invades my thoughts before I can't stop them.

I don't say anything because I don't want her to think her sadness is effecting me. I don't want her to worry about me. She has enough on her plate.

I can handle myself. I don't need her to think I'm not okay. She needs to think I'm fine. I need to put on a fake smile, a brave face and push everything else away. I just want to get through the day. Then the week and eventually the year.

"Sweetie, do you have all your things?" My mother calls from the kitchen.

"In a minute mom." I yell back.

I look back in the mirror at my reflection and sigh. Out of all the days my dark hair decides not to be tame it picks this day. I guess I'm going to have to wear it curly. Which is fine by me.

I grab my bag and keys and meet my mother in the kitchen. She is sitting with a mug of coffee and a newspaper. Her long black hair is in a tight low bun. She doesn't wear it curly anymore because of him. She is wearing one of her signature designer suits and a pair of heels.

"Morning mom." I say kissing her cheek. She immediately puts down the paper to give me attention.

My mother never stops being a mom. With work, and her personal life she always makes time for me. As a mother should know what's going on with me but she doesn't and I plan in keeping that way.

Time to fake my smile and emotions. I avoid her hazel eyes making my way to the warm waffles she has made for me. Once I'm done I place my dishes in the dishwasher. At least we got to keep the house. Mom would have probably made us move to a different town, state even if we didn't. I don't think I could have handled that.

"See you later mom." I call over my shoulder as I leave for school.

"I might be a little late today. Tom is still out sick and we have a big case."

I turn around, "No worries. I'll just have Dixon keep me company." She only smiles and nods at my words.

She doesn't need to know Dixon, my best friend will not be with me when I come home after school. She doesn't need to know I hardly speak to anyone at school. Not even Dixon.

I hop in my car and start it up. The drive to school isn't long but boring now that I don't play the radio as I drive. I don't even use my iPod anymore. Music doesn't help so what's the point.

I park my car close to the entrance of Creek Bay High. Silly name for a school but I guess it's because of the closeness to the beach. Or maybe it is random. My mother picked this school two years ago with him. When we were a happy family.

I see many familiar faces as I get out. People I used to hang out with, people I used to joke with, play sports with but not anymore. I don't think I will be hanging out with anyone or playing on a team.

I hold my head up high as I walk through the crimson and white halls. The bright lights make me squint as I open my locker. My eyes aren't used to lights. I like the dark and the quiet now, school is neither.