Hers

2 Routine

For the first time in a longtime I wake up not dreading the day ahead of me. I'm not completely back to my normal self. That will take time and patience. I know that and I'm not in a rush to get to back to that place. I don't think I will ever be but with help from Dixon I can at least get back to a routine.

A healthy routine that doesn't leave time for any wallowing in self pity.

Just as I slip on my right shoe my phone chimes with a text message from Dixon telling me he's outside my house. He is a little early but that's fine. I can always grab a banana or granola bar.

I dash down the steps taking two at a time. Something normal Olivia would do. Broken Olivia is getting back to that place. Small steps is what I need. I don't have to rush.

My mother smiles warmly at me. "Someone is awfully chipper this morning." She chimes.

"What I can't be happy?" I joke looking for some fruit to take on the go.

"Is it a boy." She asks, walking up to the marble island just a few feet from me.

"What? Ew. No." I say.

"A girl?" She questions. Her neat eyebrow arches waiting for my answer.

"No mom. It's not a boy or a girl. I just feel good." I admit. I really do. Something inside me is giddy.

She walks away from the counter back to her newspaper. "Okay." A smirk is clear on her red lips.

She probably thinks I'm lying to her. I'm sure she would love to hear I found a guy and I'm smitten with him. That will never be me. I will never fall in love. Love is poison.

Good. She's going to drop it. I find a banana and a water bottle and stuff both in my bag. "Hey, I'm leaving now." I speak as I walk away. "Have a good day mom."

"You too sweetheart." She calls from the kitchen.

Sure enough Dixon is waiting by my car when I walk outside my house. We exchange good mornings before getting in. This is normal Olivia behavior.

I make no move to turn on the radio. Maybe another day. Small steps are key. I don't need the tunes anyway. Dixon is telling me about the girl he has a crush on in our World History class.

He describes her as fun and outgoing. I can't remember who he is talking about so I just listen to him go on about her. He sounds excited and nervous. I can tell by the way he is using his hands to tell me about Eve.

"I can talk to her if you want." I offer as I park and we exit.

"Really?" His eyes light up like it's Christmas. "No. I should do it." He quickly changes his mind.

Boys.

I roll my eyes and we continue into the school. We agree to meet each other in English because of the distance of our lockers.

I put my things away and take what I need for my first two classes. Just as I close my locker someone brushes pass me. When I look up to see who it was no one is near me. Not close enough to brush me anyway.

I know someone touched my arm because it gave me wicked chills. The hairs on my arm are standing and my heart beat picks up. I better not be having one of those panic attacks.

The bell rings making me jump also bringing out of my thoughts. I quickly turn the corner and find my seat behind Dixon who gives me a worried look.

As we get to the middle of the lesson Dixon finally questions my lateness. I tell him I blanked out for a few seconds and that's enough for him not to question it anymore. It is true. I did pause briefly by my locker but I don't need to tell him why.