Brutally Honest Reviews™

A Twisted Christmas (OT)

Word Count: 2804

UPDATE: The cover has been changed since the review.

Title: A Twisted Christmas

Genre: Fantasy

Blurb: Every Christmas Eve, King Santa Claus soars through the skies to deliver presents in a sleigh pulled by eight flying reindeer. But until midnight, if you listen closely, you can hear his merciless whip snapping across their backs.

Krampus, the goat demon and punisher of naughty children, was once the king's most trusted advisor, and even named heir to Santa's throne. However, when he began to question the North Polian monarchy, he was exiled to the outskirts of Antartica.

Now, after spending a century in solitude, Krampus is finally summoned back to his home. Upon his return, he learns of how tyrannous the king has become in his absence. It isn't anywhere near the holidays, but it looks like Santa won't be the only one working overtime this year.

Status: Completed

~

Starting Points: 30

Cover: I prefer the cover the author had before, but this "new" one isn't bad either, it sets a tone and I guess that's something? *Blinks*

-No points lost.

Title: Has a certain amount of intrigue. I don't really have a smart remark about this either, so moving right along.

Blurb: *Frowns and crosses arms*

-Welp, this blurb is close to perfect. It establishes the tone and lets the reader know that this isn't an ordinary Christmas tale off the bat, provides exceptional worldbuilding and backstory without overdoing it, introduces the main characters, and states the conflict.

-Quick grammatical correction/suggestion: Krampus, the goat demon, and punisher of naughty children was once the king's most trusted advisor and even named the heir to Santa's throne. 

-Can't say anything else but: Look to this as an example, my bronies! No points lost.

Plot: Krampus "the movie" but less campy...perhaps.

Opening thoughts:

-*Clutches my jorts*

-The first line and paragraph are just as effective as the blurb. *Wipes a lone tear*

-Anyway, the opening chapter starts off with our lead character walking around the North Pole (or wherever Santa's workshop is located) being hated by everyone and their grandmother—so its quickly established that he's an Outsider—and then he goes to Santa's workshop where he finds Santa engaging in an unethical S&M sesh with his reindeer because he's a furrie on the low. Krampus, however, is not aware of "Saint" Nicholas's newfound kink and butts in and I can't remember exactly, but I think Santa turns the whip to him since he's been a very naughty bad boy and what have you. 

-Anyway, Krampus wakes up from his stupor to the audience's surprise because "iT wAs AlL a BaD dReAm HaR HaR!!1" mess and none of that was real (or maybe it was, who knows!). He finds a female Wheezy from Toy Story sleeping on him and its weirdly sexual... (I think the author is a furry, one too many coincidences). ANYWHO, the chapter ends after Krampus frees himself of the sexual tension and chapter one finally ends. I guess I just ruined the first chapter for anyone who wanted to read it. Even though the first chapter is essentially a dream scene (*future me whispers* AND a flashback scene), it's not as bad as I'm making it out as and it establishes some maybe main conflicts, characters, and setting, so that's something? It is engaging enough so I call it a win. No first chapter is without its faults though so of course I stabbed at my keyboard for a good while underneath the infamous inconsistencies tab!