Brutally Honest Reviews™

🌟Tapir

Word Count: 2064

Title: Tapir

Genre: Paranormal

Blurb: Kumo, a tapir spirit―known as 'baku' in Japan―devours the nightmares of children for a living. They are what he needs to survive, and the bustling city of Tokyo is the best place to hunt. With his sandman, Suna, they travel through dreams searching for late night snacks.

But when he's attacked by a fellow baku, Suna takes him to a distant village. Kumo feels a strange connection to it; one he doesn't like. His confusion worsens when he discovers that in this town, children aren't the only ones having nightmares. Four adults in particular are plagued by haunting dreamsーand Kumo's what they fear.

Status: Ongoing

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Starting Points: 30

Cover: Not a fan, but that's okay because I'm excited! I've heard great things about this author and I've actually got a book of theirs in my library. I just haven't read it yet because mustering the energy to do things drains my soul. Haha!

Anyway, I still think the cover makes sense with this book and the genre. It just isn't eye-catching is all, but I'm being picky here really. No points lost.

Blurb: Yeah, I've got nothing bad to say about this. This is unsurprisingly original, looks like something I would find in a Barnes & Noble, and is a breath of fresh air. Hopefully I get snatched bald after this. I'm going to start giving one point for great summaries starting...now! (+1)

Plot: Swirly puff of black bullshit comes to have his nightly play-date with his no fun roommate, but gets interrupted by a BITCH, because his roommate doesn't appreciate a good suffocating--I mean a good time! *Sweats*

Opening thoughts:

-*Reads opening paragraph* Nice, nice. One question though: What is this? The writing is clearly good, but some of your descriptions are off. Not only that, but you do this thing where you seem to fill up sentences with too much words and it becomes a mouthful.  I understand this because my writings suffers from this. A lot. Well, the writing I use to do. I can't tell you if I still do this or not because I haven't written anything really since November. My life has been devoured by procrastination, day dreaming, and editing. Save me.

-*Hums* Well, I'm already lost. This will be delved into under inconsistencies.

*Takes a moment to simply read the chapter*

-Huh. Um. Okay. Well, I finally understand what is going on! I think?

-Anyway, onto the the next. So, apparently there's a structure to this world and these Tapirs have to remain in one lace (I guess a town or a city?) for a decade before they can leave. The reason behind it isn't given, but maybe it will be revealed later on. Anyway, Kumo (more on him later), a Tapir clearly is having some mid-life crisis where he wants more from his usual daily procedure and seems to be tired of his routine. Or at least his eating routine.

-*Reads the bit when Kumo and some boy are arguing about straws as they fall in the sky* ... (-4)

Character:

-The little boy/the antagonist. The dialogue for this kid could be a whole lot better, but eh. He's a cardboard cut out of a little kid. He could've gotten gruesomely murdered and I really wouldn't care. This wouldn't be a huge problem (his cardboard-ness), but y'know, starting out with a scene like this kind of helps if there is some type of emotional connection with the readers to this little boy to actually care if he survives this or gets injured. At least give him a proper name. When a character goes without a name, it becomes clear immediately that the character's identity is either being hidden for plot reasons, OR the story doesn't give a shit about said character because they're only filler. They most likely die pretty quickly too. Right now, I'm just watching a very slow mauling. Kill him already smoke-blob monster!