Brutally Honest Reviews™

His Scarred Beauty (N)

Word Count: 3967

Title: His Scarred Beauty

Genre: Teen Fiction

Blurb:

All her life Valentina has been hidden behind the same old, beat down hoodies.

No one knows who she is, or even what she looks like beneath her chagrined cloak...

Valentina has always been in the background. She's the girl you bumped into. The girl who stood ahead of you in line. The girl who sits behind you in Math. The girl you never noticed.

Brendan was the total opposite. He was known by everyone. Most feared him. Some respected him. Some hated him. But everyone knew who Brendan was.

It is her last year of school, and she is determined to get by without being revealed, but within the first few weeks of school after winter break, she begins to find threats turning up at every corner. She didn't expect them to be for her, she assumed it was put in the wrong locker. But each note gets more and more specific, making her wonder who knows her this well? And why they hate her so much? But what Valentina didn't understand was why she was being noticed now? Was this just a coincidence, or was there something deeper? Will Valentina be able to get through the year hidden, or will the new interest in her lead to her finally being unmasked?

~NEW BLURB~

All of her life, Valentina has hidden behind the same old, worn down hoodies.

After a horrible accident when she was 11 left her without a hand and with terrible scars, she became a part of the background. She's the girl who stood ahead of you in line. The girl who sits behind you in Math. The girl you never noticed.

It's her last year of school, and she is determined to get by without being exposed, but within the first few weeks of school, she begins to find threats turning up in her locker. Each note is more specific than the last, but who knows her this well? And why do they hate her so much? Worse than the hate, Brendan, a boy who is everything she isn't, begins showing an interest in her, and how can she hide from that?

Will Valentina be able to get through the year with her secret hidden, or will the new interest in her lead to her finally being unmasked?

Status: Completed

~

Starting Points: 30

Cover: Bland. It is a typical teen romance cover with little to no personality, so it's expected, but the author/user name are barely visible, the fonts are...concerning, and that the subtitle is corny as hell. It could be worse to be fair, it does fit its genre, and attracts the according audience for a viable readership. In that case, I will not fault it too hard so I'll let it slide. No points off. (I'd still invest in a new one or at least some editing.)

Title: *Has war flashbacks of fanfiction.net 2012*

-Horrendous, has no personality. Kill it with fire. Consider me bored and vaguely annoyed. I'm not wasting a point on this so consider this a blessing Purple_Writer_ *narrows eyes*

Blurb: *Rubs hands together*

-Ah, finally something for me to bare my claws in!

-The original blurb is a complete mess. I verbally uttered "What?" to myself several times while reading it so it is a good thing the author took the initiative and gave it to someone else to save. There's an improvement, but I wouldn't stop there per se since its still lacking in the way that some things are stated so lifelessly, far too many rhetorical questions that become borderline overkill, and it could be condensed. It seems like a simple premise so wasting word count for no reason is unnecessary, I think.