1'st ❤️

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Hope's POV

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Hope's POV

I fucking hate it, I loathe it!
I loathe from the bottom of my heart,
moving from one country to another because of my fucking family. Because of my so- called mother.
I despise it. There's a lot of dark, shattered, and fucked up past behind me, a lot of shitty periods when all I wanted was to die, because I couldn't take it alone anymore. Evenings, nights, and sunsets I couldn't put up with anymore. The funniest fact is that I'm not even close to being 30 years old.

I had fun when I was younger, the whole family was important, we loved eachother. Now there are only five words that describe my family the best:

mafia, blood, loyalty, commitment, and death

I am on the run from my own family that's why I have a depressing, miserable life and it all my mother's fault. I was hurt, demolished, lonely, and in pain when I could have been happy.
" At least I will have a lot of stories to tell my future children" I joke.
If I will ever live to see my children. I don't love my life, hell I loathe my existence in this world. I hate my shitty past that's been destroying everything I still got left. Why did I have to be born?

you are probably asking what does this girl have left?
Me. I only have me left.
My family gave me nothing, NADA, all my so-called "family" gave me is shit, bills, charges to pay and bruises on my body to take care of. Some people call me a runaway. A failure and a disgrace to my family. But I know where my ticket takes me and I will find my place in the sun. My own family Betrayed me. My mother for who I thought she'd leave me alone already, didn't. She still follows me everywhere. Nonetheless, she harms me. Every time I came to a new country or a new town my mother has shown up and tried to kill me.

You ready to know how the hell all of this happened? I remember it like it was yesterday. Let's start from the beginning.

🥰throwback🥰

First day of high school. The best day for anyone who goes to school. New beginning. New friends. New hot guys. For the first time in very long I was excited and ready to study. It was my new life. Literally. When I came home that day my mim told me to sit down so we can talk. I was worried and stressed because she was nervous. When the words: "Your father was brutally murdered today" I couldnt help it. I started kicking and destroying furniture. I was angry they took my father from me. The one person I trusted the most. The one person I could talk to and tell him everything. I loved him. I still love him. My dad was true to his family, he respected and loved me. my dad. I feel tears running down my cheeks. Tears of fear.

"honey calm down, that's not everything I had to tell you" My mother says quetly and slowly. I can hear in her voice she is hurting, she continues

"my beloved daughter I love you so much, I am so sorry about everything. Me and your father weren't always the best for you, we had our own fights and disagreements. But you should remember we hid the truth for your own safety. Because we love you. Your father and I have a gang. We are the leaders of it. We have had it for a long time now but we both agreed we will tell you when the time is right. Your father insisted on telling you about the mafia when you turn 18. Your father's death has an impact on everything, now I am the leader of the Coza nostra. Italian Sicilian mafia.I know you are mad and angry at me for not telling you sooner, but it was not my job to do and I am sorry"

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