Trapped In Reverse

Trapped in reverse-Perfect

I knew she didn't care about that incident,why would she? It's her fault I'm messed up and she knows this,she knows this very well.We all want to forget things,for me and everyone else's sake,I want to forget being born into this world.Its easier then apologies or revenge,and much more victimising then giving up.If your wondering why I talk so openly about myself,I'm not normal.Im not like others who have secrets,I don't like to hide anything I don't already know.I don't wish my life would disappear however,why? Because of my half-sister and my soul mate.They are both extremely precious things in my life and if I died,they would cry.

Lucia means nothing anymore but still everything...it's not easy to love the dead is it?

She ruined my life but also saved it so I don't know what to do.I could only cry for the last three years,trying to be her prince and save her even though I had no idea,she was already gone.Its all that devils fault and also my lies.When I was younger,I was obnoxious and also shy,I also respected my family and wished they would never find out anything.So I lied.Every day and every time something seemed like it was aimed at me or getting punished,I would blame others and use my words to make them sound bad.I never had trouble getting away with it when I was 5 but as I grew older,I became a suspect.

Her fault,no it's my fault.His fault ,still not his fault and all mine.You see this pattern? It's what killed other people in my life.

And I still hold no guilt,no guilt at all.I'm crazy,that's obvious but I'm a normal type of crazy.Thats what she told me.My pleasurably nice life isn't her anymore and I must believe her.Still blaming others....sigh...I just don't learn do I? Heheheheh....

"Oh I see! There really isn't anything normal about me? I'm pretty fucked up? Yeah? Haha!"

They abandoned me and it's their fault that my heart wants to kill me.Its their fault that I'm stuck in this area of sin.Everything is a sin.If I swear,it's a sin becuase I can choose not to.But murder isn't avoidable, and I had to face this eventually.

"Fuck this! Why are you acting so decent now? Because you regret things?"

I felt the right ties on my wrist and remembered that it was time for my service.My hope.She is staring strait into my eyes with a knife in hand,gliding gently against the rope,over and over."You can't be trying to be a good person after all this? I know you like victimisation but save that for me,I am your master!"

"Y-yesss master!"

I love this,every night she comes.I wait for her to climb up the stairs and enter my room using the broken sign to break open my toys,break everything trying to search for me! Oh it's exciting~

"Lyma came again,you shouldn't ignore her like this you know,hiding behind your broken heart like this is..."

"But she can't break me like you can! She's too gentle and far too nice even if she did disappear for a year...ahhh my master!"

"I want to rip you apart and destroy your room,but your blood is part of your survival! You know that if I take some,you might get another heart failure..."

"Quit asking me if I want to live,your lust to kill me,destroy me,cut me open with a thin,curving knife being the person you are,you could devour me!"

She looked down and whispered quietly to herself.I couldn't hear her and I pushed her into the floor.She won't speak? I can only make her speak.

"You say everything I say don't you,even if I said kill lyma,you would do it right? Right?"

"......I could....maybe try and stop her breathing by trapping her in a bag but....your asking me to kill my older sister? Just because of your guilt and regret of ignoring her everyday?"

I grabbed the rope and began tying it around our arms and legs,oh yes that feels so good! The rough and used rope around my body and linking it with hers,it feels so amazing.

"What are you going to do? Like really,what are you doing tying up us like this,you know I don't get involved in the service!"

I reached out to grab her face and pushed her cheeks apart before getting closer.Im getting really worked up after all this aren't I? I need it,the sharp edge inside me...nooow!!

Grabbing the small and thin knife she always uses on me,I grabbed her arm up with mine and looked at the tied knots in between us,it felt special.

"Look at your small pathetic arm,so small and white,may I change it's smooth skin to something better?"

It's a rhetorical question obviously

Slowly,I aim the pointed tip at her arm folds and stroke the knife through the opening,I feels so good to finally break through the hard skin layer and reach the soft bloody mess underneath,ahhh so fucking good!

"Ah! Ow...hey Lithuna,I don't really like this that much!"

Stroke,stroke,stroke,stroke!

The gentle blade slides back in and I feel immense pleasure strike me as I cut open another fold of skin.The look on her face changed from aroused to scared in a quick second,I guess we haven't gone this far below the skin before.Fuck this,she will enjoy what I do next anyway.I tighten the bonds of rope on her lower arms and it barely reaches the cut-open pleasure I'm citing open again,again and again and again and again and again-

"Wahh~ I really don't like this lithuna! Are you listening?"

I reach down to pick up a small bowl that I once used For eating and put it up on the table where are hands are connected at the middle.I love the feeling if broken skin on my arms,just feel so good tearing open every fold of skin I can find,all the body fat makes it so easy...I rip open another part on her arm and I hear her wince when she looked down at the pool of blood,dropping down the table.

I lean down and her dripping mess of skin,bones and blood gets slammed into the rough table,causing her to start to cry and beg me to come back up.

"what are you doing? This hurts! This really hurts! Please stop this!"

I place the bowl on the floor and watch as her blood trickles into the bottom,filling it up with dark red,gooey liquid.The sight arouses me and I look at her face when I come back up to the table,she sighs with relief but I'm not done.

"That really hurt! The head wood shards stuck into my open flesh and I feel like the wood is not inside my wounds!"

It's okay,this is perfect.