The Emotional Laceration of an American Girl.

Ch. 7 The Emotional Laceration of an American Girl.

Warning! This has alot of cursing! Ok!

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I went back home to an empty house. I guess he's working late. I sighed. If I get in the shower first will he beat me? I sniffed myself. There is no way I can cook smelling this sweaty. I headed up the stairs. Today was a busy day. The diner was having a kids eat free day so that attracted a lot of kids. I made about 29 dollars. I always feel underpaid since I have to deal with the kids and their tantrums and their messes but I'll take what I can get. I mean all the tips are mine so that's good. I laid out my clothes for tomorrow, took of my clothes, and stepped into the shower. It was skin pealing hot just the way I like it.

I don't know when I got into the habit of showering in hot water. It just helps numb the pain I'm expecting. I really don't feel much. I prefer not to. The more open your senses are the worst it will be. Dad used to be a caring man full of love but then mom trampled all over him. All over us. What I don't get is why she left me. Did she just expect a father to be able to raise a daughter? I don't care what anyone says. It's way harder for a male to raise a female. Everything I know has come from books and the internet. When I had questions Google was my mother. Sad I know but what was I supposed to do? When I needed my first bra dad beat me saying that women shouldn't talk to men about such things. I closed my eyes and just let the water run over me. I'm so tired. The steam was tendering my skin and healing my aching muscles. I sighed.

Then I felt a hand cover my mouth. I tried to scream but whoever it was pinched my neck. He let his hand go to scream. "It's bloody hot! Bitch you were trying to burn me," he yelled. I pushed my hair out of my eyes and saw my dad. His hand was red and he was trying to shake it. I started to panic. What is he going to do with me? I started to take quicker breaths. He turned the water down but it was still warm. Then he stepped in closer. I knew it was pointless to run. I've been there and done that. It's time for me to just endure it.

He made a line on the side of my face with his finger. I shuddered and then he slapped me. I fell down and started to cry. My skin was tender because of the shower. He crouched down and took off his belt. "Look at you bitch. You're just begging for some discipline. When you're not careful some day you're gonna get it." He whipped me for a while and a watery trail of blood flowed into the drain. I didn't scream. It would only make things worse. He whipped my back, legs, and arms. When he finished he leaned in closer and whispered in my ear, "You're mine forever right? You'll never leave me right?" "Y-Yes Sir," I said. Then he pulled my face up and gave me a long French kiss.

It was nasty and I could taste the alcohol on his breath. It was also mixed with some cheap lipstick taste. Did he kiss another woman? I couldn't argue or defend myself but then he stopped kissing me. He was still holding my face. "That was your first real kiss. Right babe," he asked. I nodded. He slapped my face. "That was your first real mother fucking kiss right slut!" "Y-Yes Sir," I said. Then he stood up.

"And there will be plenty more. Have my dinner ready in 1 hour bitch. I'll be back," he said and then walked out of the room. Mom how could you...

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Dang...I'm gonna get depressed if I write too much of this. Then I had some depressing music in the Background.