Barbara Dunkelman x Reader

Depression Pt. 2

-Barbara Pov-

I do my best to keep taking deep breaths, as the ambulance keeps driving. The paramedics try to tell me what to do, but I find myself losing control of my breathing, but I just can't. Seeing his heartbeat so weak on the monitor, and his scars, dripping blood on himself. My heart breaks when I think of everything that I wasn't there to stop. If I had been there, then he would be fine. Tears well in my eyes. I realize now seeing this, how much I love him. How lost I would be without him. The paramedic reaches over, and then places a hand on my shoulder. " Ma'am, we're losing him. His vitals are fading. I need you to hold his hand, and keep talking to him. Otherwise, he isn't going to make it to the hospital."

Nodding, I grab his hand, and give it a squeeze. His eyes are barely open, and they threaten to close, maybe for the last time, unless I can manage to keep him with us. I turn to the paramedic, and he gives me some breathing techniques. " What should I talk to him about," I ask. This makes the paramedic shrugs.

" Anything works," he says. " Well, not anything. You have to avoid anything which might trigger him or make him panic. A happy memory probably. Focus on something, on anything that makes him happy. We really need you to come through here." The words come through make me calm down. (y/n) came through for me everytime, and this time I'm going to come through for him.

I give his hand another squeeze. " Hey (y/n). It's me Barbara. Uh, let's see. Do you remember the first time you spent the night at my house? We played Mario Kart, and I beat you each and every time. Or, let's see. What about the time you figured out that one short-cut. Yeah, you remember that?"

The paramedic tells me it's working, and I notice his vitals growing slightly stronger on the machine, and I turn back to (y/n). " What about the time you and I spent all afternoon playing Monopoly, but I kept losing so I tried to rob the bank? You remember that one right?" Tears well in my eyes, but the paramedic assure me we're almost there. " Do you remember the time Ally tricked us into playing the pocky game? That was both of our first kisses."

Slowly, he reaches a hand up and then caresses my face. " Barb, I don't think I'm going to make it," he says. " I feel myself fading. I'm so sorry I was such a burden for you. I'm so sorry. It's going to be easier for you when I'm gone."

I grab his hand, and then kiss him on the forehead. " No, you're going to make it (y/n)," I tell him, not giving him the option to leave me. " You're not a burden, and I want you to be with me. I wouldn't know what to do without you. You're my best friend."

He smiles at this, but then his vitals go away. " Dammit." I take a really deep breath, and then close my eyes. I count to ten, and then open them. " You can do this Barb. After everything you and I have been through (y/n), I'm not going to let it end here, and not like this. I need you to stay with me."

His arm goes limp, and then I find myself struggling to contain panic. " (y/n), I need you. I need my best friend. I need you to hold me on long days of work, and I need you to let me crash at your place when I get drunk. I need you to be designated driver. Or to go with me to all those stupid parties so I don't need to deal with drunk guys hitting on me. I need you to pretend to propose to me at restaurants for free meals. I need you to be there for me. I need my best friend. Stay with me."

Tears are flowing freely from me, and I make no effort to stop them. " I told you I would follow you anywhere. But please, don't go anywhere I can't follow you. I need you to stay. I will help you through this, but you have to let me. I need you." He gives a small smile, but then his eyes start to close.

Before I can panic anymore, we make it to the hospital. The two of them start carrying the stretcher upstairs, and then I let out a relieved sigh. Arryn makes her way down to the hospital and she pulls me into a hug. We hold each other for a little bit, before a nurse makes her way down. " Are you Barbara Dunkelman," she asks, and I nod, wiping a tear from my eye. " Can you come with me?" I nod again and start to follow her. Eventually, she takes me into a room with some doctors and (y/n). He's hooked up to some machines, and his vitals are so weak.

" We need to pump his stomach," says one of them. " He ingested some pills before you arrived. And, he needs a blood transfusion. I went over some records, and the two of you have the same blood type. Would you mind being the donor?"

" Of course," I tell them, and he nods. He starts walking me through the procedure, and I nod at the right intervals, and then sign everything quickly. With that, he starts setting something up, and then looks at me.

" After the transfusion, can you stay with him? He keeps muttering your name, and asking to see you. I don't think we can make any progress if you're not here. He kept muttering something about how much he loved you, and how sorry he was. You really came through for him today," he says, before he starts to begin the transfusion.

Color starts to return to (y/n)'s skin, and his eyes flutter open for a moment. " I'll leave you two alone for a minute," he says. " And then, we do need to pump his stomach. But, I'll give you two some alone time." With that, the doctor walks out of the room.

" I thought you hated needles," ( y/n) says weakly.

" I do. But, I will break anything to help you. My foot. Your door. Every traffic law in Texas. My skin. I just need you in my life." His eyes widen, and he asks me why I would go so far for him. I take a deep breath. " Because I love you."

( let me know what you thought. Probably one more chapter of this plot)