IVORY | Carl Grimes

thirteen - imbroglio ;

— FLASHBACK —

"will we ever be able to find somewhere to stay?"

saskia brown, having lived twelve years on this earth, had begun to finally speak up for herself and question the world around her. her fingers twitched at her side because although the courage to speak was there, the tremors still shook her hands as she waited in anticipation for an answer. she had to hear the truth and be able to accept it, though the latter was much harder than the former.

"what do you mean?" eileen responded tiredly, "have i not given you enough by securing a place each night?"

"i mean, uh, permanently." the stammer in saskia's speech did not go unnoticed by her mother.

"i don't know, saskia," eileen brown spoke, bringing up a tanned hand to wipe a sweaty piece of hair out of her eyes, "we'll rest here for the night."

saskia nodded, clinging to her mother's side as they knocked on the door to alert any walkers inside. she had taken care of walkers before, but her mother often times pushed saskia behind her, recklessly taking multiple on at a time without allowing her daughter to help.

"i'm sorry," eileen muttered quickly, looking back at her daughter for a brief moment, "i don't know, love. i just don't."

saskia nodded, taking her mother's words to heart as she shot eileen a knowing glance. she had been accustomed to accepting the way the world was now, even if she did not particularly like it.

"do you think sawyer is alive," the young girl questioned aloud. her hand flew to her mouth after realizing that she had let her most inner thoughts vocalize.

eileen stopped in her place in the hallway of the home, freezing in time. saskia's stomach turned and her throat tightened. she knew she should not of asked that. she knew. she should not have asked.

"don't," eileen snapped, "saskia, dont."

saskia gulped, readjusting the strap of the heavy, worn pack that was digging into her shoulder blade painfully. her breathing quickened and until she rooted around her wrist and located her pulse, it did not slow.

— END OF FLASHBACK —

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