IVORY | Carl Grimes

thirty-five - onerous ;

saskia awoke to the sound of footsteps pounding up the staircase outside of her room. she twisted her back to stretch, rubbing at her eyes. as she became increasingly aware of the overbearing warmth of the off-white duvet on her bed, she kicked that off, too. she groaned as a flash of sunlight stung her eyes, turning to drop her head back into her pillow with a muffled sigh leaving her mouth.

beth was busy making her bed and despite the humor in saskia's actions, she could not bring herself to even curl her lips upwards because of everything that had gone down the night prior. she finished smoothing out her pillowcase and approached the teenager. running a calming hand over her back in a comforting circular motion, beth began to initiate a quiet conversation.

"how about you get that shower and then i'll braid your hair, hmm?" she suggested quietly, brushing saskia's hair out of her face with a soft smile.

although it was nearly smothered entirely by the pillow, the blonde managed to make out an affirmation from saskia.

despite its intentionality, the sound of water cascading out of the faucet startled saskia. scooping up a handful, she splashed it onto her face and proceeded to shut the water off once finished, conscious of the limited supply. her hair was dyed with blood, two strands in the front presenting themselves particularly red. saskia cringed in disgust and discomfort at the sight and tugged on them in desperation, forcing the stain out between her fingernails.

after sawyer brought her home the night before and she was surprised with the true nature behind the papers deanna had hastily gifted to her before dying, saskia collapsed into bed. as much as her mind was managing, she was out within minutes. it felt unfair to decide what was most important and nearly impossible.

as the water pounded down on her back, saskia leaned her head forward against the shower wall. any droplets that reached her eyes were rubbed away by her hands. it stung, but anything had to have been less painful than remembering the harrowing events of the night before. it would be kinder to wash the ever-playing images from behind her eyes.

her head was pounding despite the relaxing steam. the aches riddling her body from the physical exertion were unforgiving. for once, saskia craved pity. she needed a break.

the sequence played a loop in saskia's head, each scene becoming a vividly detailed still. it was as if the smell of decaying flesh had not left her, the noise of jessie's screams left lingering. saskia toed pitifully at the water on the floor of the shower, zoning out as she watched the murky water swirl cleanly down towards the drain. it would be soon be forgotten to the world but certainly not to her.

saskia's eyes were still puffy, the skin under them dry. she bit her lip as she gazed into the mirror. the brunette knew every fragment of the girl staring back at her, being the only one who did, and yet her reflection was still confusing. her cheekbones had sharpened, whether due to the lack of food or maturity, she was unclear. the visible age her features now held was borderline overwhelming. time was running a race that she was unaware had ever begun. it seemed to be too late to try and catch up.