Bent

□CHAPTER: 18

Last night the most uncomfortable thing happned. King monster kept staring at me giving me this funny look. And everytime he got the chance he would touch me in an uncomfortable way. I'm afraid to be alone with him now more than ever.

Scream at me!

I can handle it.

Insult me!

I can handle it.

Beat me black and blue!

I can handle it.

Make my life miserable for all I care!

I can handle it.

Abuse me in a sexual manner?

I will never ever  be able to handle it. That's way too much for anyone to handle. That would just be crossing a line that's really not meant to be crossed by anyone. Let alone your father.

No! That's too much. I keep saying that I'm too far gone and there's no pain that that man can cause me that I won't be able to handle. That's what I thought. Until now. If that man ever does something like-

I can't even say it. I'll die. I'm going to kill myself if he does. It's not like I haven't thought about it before. But even so, then it was just a thought. Nothing more.

Now, if that man ever touches me. I'm going to turn all my thoughts into a reality. I won't even think twice about it. I'm just going to do it.

Lord;

I've been through enough now. I'm really trying my best to be strong. My strength is running very low. I can only handle so much. Please don't let me be a subject to such abuse Dear God. I'm begging you with all of my heart to keep me safe from that. Please Jesus! I beg of you.

I say a short prayer to myself. Hopefully he'll hear this prayer. I need him now more than ever.

"Kathy snap out of it!" I hear a voice exclaim from beside me. I blink my eyes a couple of times and then I look to my side to find Jace looking at me with some type of look.

"What?" I ask posing the question more to myself than to him. He raises both of his eyebrows up. "Well you zoned out and you kept saying 'not that. Anything but that please.'" Jace explains and I feel like face palming myself.

"Ohh my bad." I say not knowing what to say. These days I'm running low on excuses.

"Are you okay?" He asks. This reminds of the other day when he saw my bruises. He hasn't asked about that again since then. I guess he is just trying to respect the fact that I just don't want to talk about it. Although sometimes I can see the look in his eyes when he stares at me. He surely hasn't forgotten but he is just holding himself back. That must be really hard for him. But I like that he is being very considerate right now.

...another compliment!...

Not in the mood.

"Yes I am. I guess I'm just a little stressed out and I'm over thinking a lot of things." I answer. Truthfully actually. I'm not giving away the details but I'm not lying either.

"Well I have something that's going to make you cheer up." He grins and I give him a curious look.

"What? Please don't be annoying. This has been a long morning." I say causing him to chuckle.