I'm going to be honest with you all.
My whole life I've felt like I've never been able to please anyone.
Everything I did was "not enough" You know?
Something was always missing.
And that feeling was horrible because it didn't just come from one pe...
A lot of the people who know me know me as a roleplayer with a very cheerful personality who is self-confident. What most of you probably don't know is I'm not really self-confident, I didn't usually feel good enough.
I've always been an extrovert and loved, and still love, to always be around someone. I would say that was nice and very cheerful and such, but I had a downfall that was active, and still is... I care too much what people think. In school, I wanted people to like me. I wanted to eat what they ate and dress how they dressed so they would like me and I would fit in. It didn't work out.
People would call me names often and someone even pushed me down in the snow and gave me frostbite on my face once. I just continued to tell myself that it was because I wasn't trying enough. I had one or two real friends.
My troubles only got worse when I started going to a public school. After going to previous school for five years, I switched. {If you're wondering why I hadn't switched before, my family moved a lot during my childhood, and my Mom didn't wanna make us switch schools. I've moved to 17 different places so far in my life, and besides the recent like, four years, we would move like once a year or more than once a year.}
At my new school, I thought it could be different, I thought I could have a group of friends. I knew that some people were okay with one friend, but being an extrovert and people lover, I was not. I tried to maintain my friendship with my one old friend, but she stopped talking to me. I only stayed at this new public school for about a year. It was awful. I had no friends, everyone was rude, and I noticed that I was feeling more worn-out everyday. I wondered what was wrong with me. Why wasn't I good enough for people to like me? Was I too fat? Was there something wrong with the way I looked? Did I talk funny?
My Mom noticed my struggle this time and switched my school. This time to a smallish school that actually doesn't have very many activities. My current school. I was more nervous about meeting people this time. I wanted friends, so I tried what I believe I hadn't tried before. I did nothing. I still talked, but I didn't try to act like anyone this time. And soon enough, I wound up finding a group of friends that are still my friends a couple years later. They are kind, smart, funny, supportive and caring. In addition, Wattpad did help some because I met about two amazing people on there that helped me through some of the rough stuff. Then I realized that being myself is what I really should've been doing all along. I could've found more friends, maybe, or maybe they were mean people. Either way, I found out that I was always good enough.
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F1NAL1Z3 Shout out to you and I think you'll be interested!
I don't know how to tell you I feel so relatable to this so much. I've always loved people and wanted to fit in. But I had to learn that by changing who I am I won't ever achieve what I want.
Thanks again Fireshine . Y'all should go check her profile out .
