I'm going to be honest with you all.
My whole life I've felt like I've never been able to please anyone.
Everything I did was "not enough" You know?
Something was always missing.
And that feeling was horrible because it didn't just come from one pe...
So when I was pretty young I was obsessed with sports. I played soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter, softball in the spring, and whatever else I could shove in between.
In 4th grade, however, I earned myself a major concussion and suffered from it for about a year. It seems impossible, and I honestly thought the same at the time. After that, my life kind of spiraled downward. I stopped sports shortly after, as I was too afraid that I'd get hurt like that again. Not only that, but my life started to feel meaningless. I always thought that no one trusted me anyone, so I often kept to myself.
To me, anyone who actually chose to talk with me didn't really care about me. It looked to me that I wasn't worth their time.
I started hurting myself over a year ago. It was only bruises, though, and always went unnoticed. I was never consistent, though, and only occurred during major episodes.
The summer of the same year, I met my ex after I participated on the track team for my school. At the time, they were the only one who knew about my mental state and always comforted me and managed to stop my self harm.
The only problem was we never could meet in person so we would text each other every single night. Our relationship shipped ended around fall because of issues on their side. I hadn't heard from them up until a few weeks ago, but we stayed as friends.
During that time alone I started harming myself again, and was falling deep into that pit again. The thoughts that they left me because I wasn't enough constantly swarmed me. Around a month or two ago, I finally confessed to my mom about what was going on with me for the last five years or so.
I was a total mess and panicking, and she stayed next to me the entire time. Almost immediately after, she took me out to walk around by the ocean, and then bought ice cream.
It's because of her I don't hurt myself. Now, with the help of those I love I finally realized I was always good enough.
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TisITheWizardI wanted to thank you again for participating and telling the world your story.
People should stop keeping all their problems to themselves. I know this because it's what cause most of my problems.
It's good to talk to someone mostly a parent. I know it's hard but it really does help.
