Just You and I: Book 1 (Cody Carson)✔

It Hurts, But I Will Make It

"Lia? What are you doing here? Why aren't you resting?" More tears threatened to fall from my eyes. "Lex who's-Lia what the hell?" Both the boys seemed sorta freaked out to see me in their doorway, after classes, with tears in my eyes and dried tears on my face. "I just need...need someone to....to talk to." Alex pulled me into their room and Jack handed me a tissue box. "I know you guys were there when I said my best friend killed himself. It's tearing me apart inside. I keep deflecting my mom every time she wants me to talk about it. His sister can barely get a word out without sobbing. I've held it together for almost 3 months, I can't handle it anymore. He wasn't only a best friend, he was basically my lifeline. Kept me together when my dad left. Made sure I stayed alive, not only for his sake but my mom's as well. Hell I felt things about him that I couldn't put into words until now. He hadn't come to school one day, and it worried me. Simon wasn't one to skip school. Even if he had cancer, and he was dying, he wouldn't skip. During lunch, I went to see what was wrong. Found him in his room, hanging from his ceiling fan. His room trashed, nothing salvageable, except a box of Polaroid pictures. All of him and I. I still have the box, each picture reminds me of how much I miss him. Every memory reminds me of how much I could've done to fix it, he'd be here right now, laughing, playing with his 2005 fringe, twisting that stupid nose stud." I laughed, a bitter and cold laugh.

"I told my mom that moving wasn't a great idea. Cutting me off and putting me in a school for people who has talent, isn't going to fix it. He isn't going to come back. And I-" I couldn't speak anymore, just shook my head and let the tears fall. "Lia, just let it out." Alex rubbed my back. "You know, Simon was such a huge nerd. I never had any problem with it, I myself am a nerd in the academic field. Simon knew everything from horror to romance. He knew every arcade game, and how to beat it. He would always go off on little tangents. I thought it was the funniest thing ever. I would just listen making comments or laughing. We were different in many ways, but we made a damn good friendship. He saved my life, kept me happy. I'm so angry that I couldn't do the same for him." A knock on the door stopped the two from speaking. Alex went over to the door and opened it. "Hey, we heard crying in here. Is everything okay?" Max and Steven stood in the doorway. "Oh um, everything is quite alright." I sniffled and looked down at my hands, my eyes going straight for the ring on my middle finger.

"Simon?" "Lia! There you are. How was the date?" I laughed, wiping my eyes a bit. "The guy was a huge douche." Simon frowned and pulled me into his famous bear hug. "I wanted to give this to you later, but Chad was pulling me away." He handed me a ring with mine and Simon's initials on it. "A beautiful ring for an extraordinarily beautiful girl."

I chuckled a bit, twisting the ring on my finger. "Is that Lia?" Steven asked. "Uh...." Jack looked at me and I wiped a bit of my tears away. "Yeah. It's me." Max and Steven peered into the room. I guess seeing a girl with dried tears and makeup streaks on her face is enough to worry any guy. "Who the hell do I need to beat the shit out of? Was it Cody?" Alex sighed and looked at Jack for help. "I'm having a bad day." "We heard about the anxiety attack earlier. Is everything okay? Are you nervous about anything?" His frantic voice reminded me a bit of Simon. He was always worried, whether it be about grades or me, he was always worrying. "Max, I'm fine." I insisted. "Can you leave please? I'm sure when she's ready, she'll tell you." Max and Steven huffed and did as they were told. "Are you going to be okay?" I nodded and yawned. "It'll hurt for awhile, hell I'm not sure it'll leave ever. But I'll make it. I vowed to him and his family, that if something were to ever happen to him, I would live on in his memory. I would make him proud, even if he isn't here. I'm not sure if I'll ever stop hurting from it, losing someone that close is enough to kill someone." Alex hugged me then Jack did. "I should get back to my room. We do have classes in the morning."