not everything is rainbows.

26 // Normal

I woke up in Scott's arms. He held me tightly. I ever so slowly pulled away. I got up and put on a huge flannel that belonged to Pops. I stuck some jade leggings on under it and tied a black hoodie around my waist, which matched my black converse. I brushed my long brown hair over to the side and coated on some makeup. I stood up and Scott was still laying in bed, with his curly black hair falling over his face. I walked over to the window and pulled it open, filling the room with sea salty scents. He shook his head up, covering his face, groaning. I chuckled and opened the door before walking out and shouting, "Good morning, beautiful." He yelled back, "Fuck yourself!"
I walked down to the diner and hugged Pops. He smiled his sweet, worn smile and said "I've missed you, Rachel." I smiled and patted his back. I said "Instead of working today, can I do the monthly grocery shopping?" He opened his eyes wider and yelped, "Yes! Finally, a volunteer. Usually Momma has to do this, and you know she's getting older." I nodded and replied, "That's just no good. I'll take Scott with me." Pops grinned, "For sure." I smiled and walked to the fridge. There was a huge list on three pieces of printer paper, which I tore down. I looked over the ginormous list and then I grabbed the stores money bag. It was a light gray bag and looked nonchalant. It held a lot of money, like, over five thousand dollars. The rest was somewhere else. I grabbed a few hundred dollar bills and stuffed them into my bra.
I walked up the stairs into our room and to my surprise, my lazy bones bestie was actually up, unpacking his bags. Since he didn't notice me, I slowly tiptoed behind him the yelled "Boo!" He turned around and it was like face-to-chest proximity. Before I could step back, Scott flung me over his shoulder and wrapped his arm around my waist. As if I weighed nothing, he 'gently' slammed me into my bed. I was out of breath from kicking and screaming, so when he started tickling my sides roughly, making me burst into an unwelcomed laughing fit. He kept tickling me until I started gasping for air. He then got up, looking proud and smug, "What do you need help with today, Ray?"
I picked up the list from on top of the projector, trying to by enthusiast, I said "Groceries!" He heaved out a long sigh. I got up, chuckling and he nodded, saying "Okay. I guess I can deal with this horrid news."
I smiled, "Good. Get dressed." He held a finger up to his defined jaw, considering something.
He finally said, "Lay me out some clothes." I nodded. He rubbed my head and walked out to shower.
I ran my hand over his closet until I saw a mustard yellow shirt that had been worn out, with various holes and cuts. I decided on that shirt with a pair of black jeans and black converse. Once I had it laid out, in perfect timing he walked in. Oh boy..
His chest was exposed, hairless and thin, yet defined lines. He had abs, not large ones though. He had a flat chest and you could see a bit of his ribs when he inhaled. His hair was curling, but he kept it short on the sides. Water dropped from his defined jawline onto his arm, which was thin, with small muscles on his bicep. He walked toward the closet, picking up his clothes. He came out a few minutes later, with his hair drier. He looked good in clothes I had out. He strutted a few over exaggerated poses and finally ended on a wink over the shoulder that made my heart melt a little.
I shook my head, "Are you ready, idiotãs?" He said in perfect Spanish, "Soy el idiota? No lo creo, Rachel Ann." (I'm the idiot? I don't think so, Rachel Ann.) I stare wide-eyed. "You know Spanish?" He smirks and replies, "Con fluidez." (Fluently.) I shake my head, "I don't." We laughed as he grabbed my car keys. We walked down in comfortable silence, list in hand.
Once we got in the car, we started jamming to The 1975. Well, by that I mean I was jumping up and down and swinging my head, singing along and Scott was thumping his fingers with the beat on the steering wheel. He occasionally looked over and rolled his eyes, looking away with a chuckle. Sometimes he even mouthed the lyrics, but when I made a big deal, he stopped and laughed. I loved his deep, lighthearted laugh and the way his eyes crinkle when he flashes a genuine, white, straight toothed smile. His teeth in the front were perfect rectangles, yet to the side, are sharp. If anyone had a perfect smile, it was him.
He pulled up to a parking spot and we got out. His long strides were hard to keep up with, so I yelled "What are you doing, long legs?" He scoffed, "Sorry. I guess I'm just used to people bigger than five feet tall." I give him a dirty look and pull out the list. I read as Scott gets a cart and pushed us to produce. We grab a buttload of tomato's and lettuce and onions and so many apples. Like, eight bags. We checked everything for bruises, because Scott said when Alyssa and him went shopping when Scott was fourteen, they bought a bag of bruised fruit and Momma freaked out and lectured them for a solid hour. I laughed at the story, imagining Scott as a fourteen year old. That's only five years ago. Not for Scott, he's twenty-one. Alyssa's twenty-four. She needs to get her life in gear, I think. I'm still young. Once we pick up pounds of burger, gallons of milk, and so many ingredients for bread, we checked out and walked to the car. Scott pushed two carts and stuffed everything in the trunk and backseat. I got in the car and waited. Five or so minutes later, Scott came in the car. He started it up, and looked over to me. I offered a smile and he smiled back.
Once we got home, Momma was in the diner, taking orders. I couldn't find Alyssa, so I walked upstairs. She wasn't in her room, so I went to the bathroom, and she was in the bathtub, surrounded by blood. I yell for Scott, tears forming at a vicious rate. Alyssa is bawling, crying harder than anyone I've ever seen. She inhaled sharply and cried and yelled. Without thinking, I got in the bathtub and started hugging Alyssa. She collapses into my arms, giving in. I cry with her as Scott stumbles in. He looks at Alyssa, pained. He motions for me to get out, so I do. He grabs a towel and covers her up. I still have my clothes on, but Alyssa was naked. I wonder what happen, but I was bawling. Scott looks at me and says, "Get her clothes. I'll put her down in her room, then we're going to the hospital." I nod and run ahead to Alyssa's room, her wails following me. I grab some flimsy grey gym shorts and a blue tee shirt. I grab her underwear and start dressing her. It seems like she can't even open her eyes, which she hasn't. I finish dressing her and then I pull her hair into a bun. She's sitting on the bed, not doing anything. When I turn around, she's passed out. I yell for Scott again, and he runs in. Once we gets the situation, he grabs her and runs to the Jeep. He lays her down in the backseat. She is still unconscious. Scott gets in the front and speeds down to the highway. I notice we're going to the hospital as I unbuckle and climb to the back seat. I sit on the floor and grab Alyssa's hand, feeling for a pulse. When I get a small one, I still hold her hands, for comfort. I hold her hands as I look at her face, tear-stricken. Her eyes were puffy. Her nose was red. This is the only time I've ever seen her less than runway ready. Scott barks at me, "Call the hospital, tell them what happened, and tell them to be ready." I do. Once I hang up, I realize we're five minutes away. I check Alyssa for cuts and I find nothing. It only makes my curiosity ballon.
Once we pull up, paramedics grab Alyssa and we follow. They lay her down and ask us to leave. They say "Relations?"
I lie, "Cousin."
And Scott says, "Cousin."
He nods at us, saying "She'll be ready for visitors soon." An eternity later, the doctor says, "Family can come in."
Scott and I walk in and sit. The doctor is looking at Alyssa and he asks, "What caused the abnormal bleeding and dehydration?"
Alyssa chokes out, "I'm pretty sure I miscarried.."
I look at her, pained and sympathetic, but the doctor continued, "We'll get you an ultrasound.. I'm sorry for your loss." He takes a second and looks at Scott and I before continuing.. "The fetus will most likely still be in the water, if she did. Would one of you like to go check on that?"
Scott nodded slowly, "I can."
I nodded as well, "I'll go to the ultrasound with her." The doctor offered a sad smile and walked out. A nurse walked directly in with a gown, "Keep on your panties only." Alyssa nodded and took off her clothes. I didn't care, nothing I haven't seen. Once she got in the gown, I tied the back and we walked to the ultrasound room.
She pulled up her dress and let the lady slather her in jelly. The nurse said, "Well.. you miscarried.." Alyssa pinched her eyes closed hard and soft tears poured. The nurse continued, "It's because of stress and dehydration.. When you try next time, make sure to drink 10 cups of water daily and sleep for about ten hours. Nine pm - seven am works for mom's with jobs. I'm really sorry honey.. most women miscarry at your age. It's hard, but far from impossible. Don't get your hopes down."
Alyssa was wailing now, "What do I do with the fetus?"
The nurse tapped Alyssa's knee, "Just... flush it or bury it.. Which doesn't sound humane, but it's about everything you can do."
Alyssa nodded and got up. The nurse brought her clothes. Alyssa slipped them on and walked out.
I called Scott and as soon as we got in, Alyssa asked, "Can I bury my baby..?"
Scott nodded, "Yeah, Momma is looking for a fitting box. I gave the fetus to her.."
Alyssa started crying, "Why me? It was supposed to be a surprise. A-a baby. Why can't I just be happy?" Alyssa inhaled, shakily.
I shrugged.. "It's okay, how far were you?"
Alyssa sighed, "Three months, I think." I nodded. Scott sighed.
As soon as we got in, Momma ran to Alyssa and hugged her. Alyssa hugged back and said "Where is my baby?"
Mama sighed and said, "I couldn't do any better than this." She pulled out a blue box that said "Smile Always."
Alyssa lifted the top and stared as she cried. Through her sobs she said, "Call Sky." I nodded, grabbing her phone. I hit Sky's name as soon as it popped up on her contact list.
I called and immediately said "Alyssa needs you."
Sky said, "I'll be there in five minutes." I hung up and looked at Alyssa, crying on the floor, staring. Pops was tearing up too, standing over her. Momma was sitting next to her, crying. Sky walked in soon and Alyssa jumped into his arms. He held her and rubbed her back. He saw the baby and sighed deeply. His dimples were nowhere in sight as Alyssa confessed she miscarried. In fact, his eyes weld up as he whispered sweet things into her ear. Scott was standing to the side, talking to Pops.
Pops, Momma, Scott, and I went to close up the diner. We sat in silence as the coffee poured and we could hear Alyssa's sickening wails. Pops sighed, "I'm gonna go get flowers and a tree sapling. The burying will be done correctly." I nodded and Momma did too.
Scott says, "I'll dig a hole. When you come back and Alyssa's ready, we'll bury it together." Momma and I nodded again.
The boys left and Momma broke the silence, "Alyssa has wanted a baby since Scottie was born. I can't imagine how she feels. Oh, and that boy.. He loves the heck out of her. He called Pops one night and asked for his blessing on their relationship. He clearly isn't happy, either.."
I nodded, "Alyssa would be a great mom, and Sky seems lovely." Mom sighed, pouring two coffees, setting them in front of us. The taste I usually found bitter was comforting now. We wait in silence until the boys waltz back in, followed by Alyssa and Sky, both teary-eyed and puffy faced.

We walked outside and looked at the hole as Sky spoke, to the baby, "Sorry you'll never see the beauty you would call mother, the blooming flowers, your first love, a tub of ice cream, and colors. I'm sorry you've missed things like happiness, the first snow of the year, equally returned love and a juicy, fat burger. I'm even more sorry that you'll never get to see your family. You left before I even got to teach you to play any sports, or if you were a girl, punch your first boyfriend. I'm sorry that you'll never get to grow up with a kick-ass family.. but God called you home. I'm sorry I couldn't have done anything." We were in tears as Alyssa said, "I loved you before I even saw you, baby. I'll always love you." No one else spoke because no one even knew of this baby's existence until today. Sky and Alyssa still held the box as the carefully placed it into the steep hole Scott made. Everyone watched as Pops covered the box with sand. Momma held the flowers out to Alyssa. Alyssa held them close to heart and watched Momma delicately place the tree sapling into the sand. It would grow, with any luck.
Once everyone went back in, Scott and I stood, watching the waves. He turned to me. He engulfed me in a hug, holding me tightly. I held him and nuzzled my head into his chest. He spoke, "The world is cruel, Ray."
I nodded, "Honestly."
When the moon replaced the sun, we walked up to the room. I changed into shorts and a tee shirt in the bathroom. I wiped off my makeup and brushed
my teeth. I looked into Alyssa's room. Sky was there, spooning her. He was asleep, but Alyssa's eyes were still partially opened.
I smiled as I said, "Goodnight, Alyssa."
She yawned, "Wait." She picked up her phone and sent a quick text as I stepped in. She came up close to me, then spoke, "Do you like Scott?"
I blushed, "Alyssa, you better stop."
She chuckled, "Just answer. It's no big deal."
I nodded, "I mean, yeah."
I laughed, "It's just weird to talk about it to his cousin."
She nodded as she walked back to bed, "Goodnight, future cousin." I shook my head and walked back to bed.
I crawled into the mattress. Scott was standing, for some reason. He turned on the pixie lights. I watched as he came closer to my bed. He laid down beside me and wrapped his arms around me and we watched the stars start to disappear.

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Quick Note ; This is my first story, I hope it's not or something, but so far I like it.

image for chapter ;

song for chapter ; antichrist - the 1975

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tumblr ; aesthetic-sheit

( images are not mine, please contact me for removal/ credit. )

Thanks for reading!