My First Love{Complete}

Pt.4

February 2017
State of the World Tour

Toni's Pov

I sat front row awaiting her arrival slightly irritated but my sisters on the other hand were squirming in anticipation for their most favorite person in the world which was shady. It's been five minutes and she still wasn't on stage–the show was supposed to start at eight but that's Janet. I sat there picking at my manicured nails when suddenly it went completely dark. I felt Tamar grab my arm squealing in excitement. A light finally came on gaining my attention. There was a presentation on equality and the state of the work hence the name of the tour. Snippets of her face popped up on the screen continuously when suddenly she walked out causing the crowd to erupt in screams.

I watched as she walked out with her head held high. She stood there scanning the crowd with the most fierce look I've ever seen. Seeing her standing there in the flesh started to bring back so many memories and suppressed emotions which was why I didn't want to come. I watched as she started to perform and she was still amazing. Five songs and two wardrobe changes into the show later, the songs started to slow down and become a bit more sensual. She sat on the chair with her dancers sitting by her as she performed. As she was singing, I saw her scan the crowd slowly then she stopped and began to stare with wide eyes. I looked behind me to see what made her look like that until Tamar pinched me smiling.

Tamar: Ooo girl you see how she looking at you.

Toni: M-Me?

Tamar: M-Me? Yes you slow ass. I saw that look in her eyes before...we all saw it right girls.

Sisters: Yup sure did

Toni: What look? Why do y'all keep saying that?

Tamar: Cause you blind child. Ooo girl look she coming over here.

I looked up and sure enough she was standing right in front of us staring right at me. The music ended as she thanked her crowd and walked off the stage. I felt my body being dragged and before I knew it, we were standing right in Janet's dressing room. Seconds later, she emerged out of nowhere with some sweats on as if she just didn't dance her ass off an hour ago. She walked up to us and my heart started to race at the familiar scent.

Janet: Hey guys long time no see.

Tamar: Hey girl...I enjoyed myself immensely child oh my God you were amazing boo.

Janet: Aww you're so sweet. It's good to see all of you.

I stood there uncomfortably as it got quiet. I could feel her burning a hole into my scull but I refused to look in her eyes but then she spoke in the sexiest voice ever.

Janet: Hello Toni

Toni: H-Hi

Janet: Wow you haven't changed one bit since the last time I saw you. Still that same Toni. Guys do you mind if I talk to Toni privately for a second?

Towanda: Of course. Let's go guys

I watched them walk out silently begging for them to stay but it was too late now it was just me and HER. I stood there waiting to hear what she had to say. She looked at me observing like she always did.

Janet: I didn't think I'd see you again?

Toni: Why?

Janet: You left me Toni without much of a goodbye. I waited for you to come back but you didn't so I gave up looking and trying. I'm even surprised you're here. Why are you here?

The guilt that I was hiding from started to bite me in the ass. Seeing the hurt in her eyes made me feel like such an asshole but I couldn't take it back if I wanted.

Toni: I don't know

Janet: Typical Toni... always clueless.

I looked down in shame and embarrassment as we stood there in silence.

Janet: Was it him?

I looked up

Toni: What?

Janet: Was he the reason why you left?

Toni: Janet

Janet: Yes or no

Toni: Yes

She scoffed then walked over to the couch she had in the corner of the room. I looked anywhere but at her. There was so much history behind US that no one will understand.

Janet: Why? Were you not happy?

Toni: I was I promise you I was

Janet: Then why?

Toni: I felt lonely sometimes when you weren't there and he was. I-It just happened.

Janet: It just happened *chuckle*  it just happened. You really think I believe that shit Toni? Did you forget–I know you okay.

I looked at the floor feeling my eyes getting watery. I knew she'd see right through me but I refuse to give in... not this time. I was too ashamed to say my truth.

Janet: Toni look at me.

I looked at her

Janet: Please I just need to know then I'll be at peace once and for all.

Toni: I'm so sorry okay I didn't mean to hurt you *cries* I left because I was pregnant. I was too ashamed and scared to face the truth and face you so I left. I did what was best for both of us.

Janet: What? *tears up*

Toni: I'm sorry Janet

Janet: okay–Can you leave please?

Toni: Janet

Janet: No just–just get out

I sighed in defeat then proceeded to walk out but then she stopped me.

Janet: Toni?

Toni: Yes?

Janet: I forgive you

~Unedited