My Angel ~ a dan howell x reader fanfic

Feelings

"Can you believe that?!" I shouted at the TV. I glanced over at (y/n) for her reaction to see her. She was tired and flickering from exhaustion. There was always a gold and silver glow around her, but it was dull, like it was that night at the park. Her injuries and hugging me must've taken a lot out of her. I felt suddenly guilty for requesting a hug and straining her further than she should've. I watched her face, peaceful yet tortured.

Each and every time that I see her I always wonder what's on her mind. Her face was easy to read in the sense I could tell something was bothering her, but I had no clue as to what or where to start. Besides, stressing her out or upsetting her is the last thing I want to do.

I find it weird to be with her, yet it's something that is also natural. I mean, I'm hanging out with an angel and it's normal now. She just seems so...amazing. And I admit there are times I find myself admiring the glowing figure too much. She was delicate and angelic, of course, but she was also boisterous and silly. It was like hanging out with a casual friend who just happened to be dead.

Her life hadn't been the best from what I've witnessed and heard. She wasn't able to spend enough time with family and friends nor was her boyfriend a great addition to her life. Her sister had moved to Europe after the death and her mother was deteriorating by the second. (y/n) had gotten teary eyed at the mention of her father so I let it go. It made my heart hurt to know that she was truly alone.

Although she's said multiple times how grateful she is to have me to be with after being all lonely, but I couldn't help but feel guilty when she mentions her past life. And now sitting here, I feel that I know more than I should. That seeing her was wrong from the 2 times other angels had come.

But...she helped keep it a secret when she didn't have to. She was risking her safety to keep our knowledge silent. She was helping me and she was nice. And...I feel something when I'm with her. I watched as her glowing figure brightened at my thought and faded quickly after. Was...no it's just a coincidence. Her eyes flickered open, (e/c) irises staring back at me.

"Did I fall 'asleep'?" she asked. I smiled and nodded. "Sorry."

"Hey can I ask you a question?" I interrupted. She seemed slightly weary, but nodded, relaxing back into her spot. "How come I can see you? Am I like some weird visionary person or..."

"Well, you're not a 'visionary', I mean those are really rare and besides I sprinkled the dust on you. I doubt that gives you like magic powers or whatever you're hoping." she explained.

"What dust?" I asked. She froze, realizing what she had admitted.

"Uhh, well, it's so you can see me." she said.

"You did that? I'm not supposed to be able to see you?!" I asked.

"No, but--"

"(y/n)! Are you crazy?! You'll get yourself in trouble!"

"No! I'm fine you're fine. What do you not want to be able to talk to me?!" she asked, her aura shading with soft red hues to show she was getting angry and flustered.

"I just don't want you in danger! You just did that with no regrets!! I mean what would've happened if I just went around screaming about a ghost?!" I scolded. Her eyebrows furrowed and her arms crossed in front of her protectively.

"Because I knew you wouldn't. So sorry for being a little risky to save your sorry ass." she spat.

"It's just so irresponsible." I said. "Ever think before you act?" Her aura shifted dim, soft blues and purples.

"Ever think before you talk?" she asked. She got up from the couch, floating out the door.

"(y/n)!" I called, but to my dismay she disappeared. She wasn't fully healthy, what if she faints again, so close to the first one? I hurried down the stairs out into the streams of people, to see she was gone, weakening by the minute. "Damn it." I scolded myself.

I've never acted this way, so temperamental and sensitive. I just don't want to lose her. So much that I'm pushing her away.

All I could do was stay until she appeared back, but I didn't know how long it would take or if I could find her before then. Scouring the city for a figure of mist isn't really an easy task.

A burning anxiety ran through my body as I searched frantically around me, the strangers walking around giving me strange and judging looks. No one stopped to help, even if they couldn't it would've been nice. I shut my eyes, people filtering around me, brushing past lightly.

Think.

Where could she be?

I opened my eyes again to picture her staggering along, losing energy. She was headed towards a graveyard, her eyes blurred and glossy, upset and faded.

Her grave.

The nearby cemetery was a block away, and it was worth a shot. My worked up imagination would be wasting my time, but I have to try. I dashed down the streets towards the empty, but serene resting place. I glanced down a few rows with tombstones scattering the ground. I noticed a crumpled figure knelt in from of the gravestone, airy fingers brushing over the unkept lettering. I hurried over to her, kneeling with her in the mossy grass.

"How did you know I was here?" she asked.

"I saw you."

"You followed me? Why? Salt in the wound?"

"I didn't follow you and I'm sorry I'm just really not used to--"

"You didn't follow me here? How did you see me? You don't even know I'm buried here."

"I don't know I just pictured it." I said. She turned back to the gravestone, her head dipped. "Look I'm sorry, I'm just really freaked out at how easy it is to lose you." I said. Her glow was slightly pink along with the tips of her ears and cheeks. "I pushed you away."

"I know." she said. "You're forgiven."

"Thank you." we fell silent and I scanned over the marking on the grave.

"Dan." I glanced over at her, all colors faded, turning to a gray mist.

"(y/n)!" I called, desperately swiping through her. I watched her fade a away, her eyes drooped. I slumped further into the grass, before prying myself up to get back to the flat. 

:D

im so sorry i missed sunday! i promise the schedule will be back on track this weekend.