Generator

Switch-Unswitch

New York, 1997

We're at the VMA, getting ready for our performance, but maybe not the best day that we've got because today Pat will announce his departure from the band and introduce Franz as his replacement. I got that, he's burned out and exhausted. But still, something's missing with that.

We see him go to the stage and face the crowd, telling them everything they need to know. There's lot of disappointment that we hear from them, since Pat was working with us from beginning, I totally understand. But I'm glad Pat introduce Franz properly and tries his best to decrease the disappointment.

"They will okay. Trust me." I don't know how long she's there looking through the window with me. I'm kinda surprised, like usual. "What?"
"About Franz. You don't have to be worry all the time. You worry too much." Then she leaves and go to Taylor's dressing room again. What a random girl. But she's right, I have to stay positive.

I remember that I left my drink in his room, maybe I should get it back. "Hey Taylor..." I open the door and he sush me almost instantly. "Sshhh. She's sleeping. I don't wanna wake her up."
"Well. That's quick. I thought she just went here 15 minutes ago."
"I know. I think she doesn't feel well so I told her to have a sleep."
"Oh, okay." I look at her, sleeping on Taylor's lap with sweat running all over her face. "Hey, I think she had a fever."
"Really?" He take a look at her face and touch her forehead. "But she got normal temperature."
"Well, maybe I was wrong. It's just, she's sweating all over her face."
"Yeah, I see that too. Maybe she's tired."

When we're still checking on her, suddenly it's time for us to perform. He open the door and calling Pat to comes in. "Hey I'm sorry to ask you this but, can you stay here while we're on stage?"
"Oh,of course. Not a problem."
"Okay, thanks Pat." Taylor put her head on a pillow carefully and then go with me head to stage. Even when he's sitting behind his drum, the worry look oh his face is still visible. I bet Taylor don't wanna leave her, especially knowing that she wasn't feeling well.

We play on this outdoor stage, with people still whining about Pat. It ruined my playing but luckily I handle it pretty well, and so does Taylor. Right after we finished, he go straight to his room just so he can see Aubrey. Pat is there, reading a book while accompany her. "Hey, that's okay to go Pat. I'm here."
"Okay. Say my greetings for her okay? I didn't have the chance to say a farewell to her."
"I'll tell her."
"Right. Bye guys." Pat is leaving and that's his last day as a part of our band. But we made a promise to stay in touch. We're friends after all, so it's all good.

"Maybe she needs a doctor, Taylor." I suggest to him and he nods. "I know, I said that to her but she said that she's just tired and she really hate to see doctor." It's understandable, some people don't like going to see doctor, or go to hospital. I don't wanna push anyone to do so. "Okay." Now I can see why Aubrey love to be around Taylor. He can be funny, ridiculous, but he's caring for her, gentle and sweet. He even hold her hands non stop. "Hey Taylor."
"Yes?"
"You're really serious with her?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I am."
"Just asking. Because..."
"I have no serious look, right?" He giggles. "I didn't expect that either. Like, I love playing around. But everything is different with her." He constantly looks at her, like he really adores her more than anything. "I can see that. You hold her hand for hours."

Then we got into silence. Taylor lost inside his mind. But after that, he looks at me, smiling. "You know what? I...I think I wanna marry her." That sentence hit me hard. I don't know if I'm ready to hear that or not. But is does struck me. I didn't expect that he would actually said that. "Good for you." That's all I can came up with. "I know right! But I keep that in the future. I want to take it slow so both of us will sure wether we're ready or not."
"Yeah, take your time. Enjoy your dating time." I smile back to him, with an awkward feeling.

L.A, 2008

They call us. We won something and it would be a lie if I say that we are not happy with that. We are. If it means they appreciate our works, then I'll be happy no matter what. I remember our first Grammy for our third album. It was great. It was the first. Especially that album is a piece with person touch. My kind of favorite.

Even for the third time, it still feels great. We're getting strong each year. After survived almost worst things possible, we're still here, doing what we do for years. This is also the mose long-live lineup with me, Taylor, Nate, and Chris. We're so proud that we still got it, whatever it is. I still remember a decade ago we go as a three piece band. Sure some people go 'it's Nirvana' kind of comment and I told you, it pissed me off.

L.A, 1998

I fucked up every night. Just like any other nights, I got drunk hard last night and now I got up with a crazy mind. I wanna scream. I'm done with everything. Also, it's because we just fired Franz from guitar position. He couldn't find his place and we think we couldn't wait for him again. We need to make a recording again, soon.

But for real, I think the idea to live here is driving me crazy. I...I can't stay here any longer. No, if I want to stay sane. Sane enough to make music again. Each time I think about find a peace, I think about my home, Virginia. Place where I might belong.