Generator

Tired Of You

Washington, 2001

No one's feeling good. None of us. It's all fucking mess. There are some stuff that just doesn't work. Those demos that we did at Taylor's place, we don't know what to do about it. So we decided just to play for European Festivals. Like, at least we do something before we figure out to continue the recording. Plus my whole feud with Courtney is getting bigger. Me and Krist are probably getting some legal actions because of it.

My relationship is another mess. A disaster, not because Melissa is bad. She's not, at all. She's all good and else, it's me. I'm a mess. I'm getting tired. It drives me away from her. Even with those values inside her, I can't stop myself from breaking up with her. I feel awful that I acted like a jerk. I'm a jerk for breaking up, and even worse because I turned that situation into a song. What a jerk I am.

From what I see, Aubrey was pretty bumped that she can't meet Melissa anymore. It's like she lost her friend that usually put a smile on her. She also knew about my song, and she can't believe I wrote that. Probably quite angry. She didn't talk to me for days. She told me I was an asshole for actually wrote it. For her, that song is something that could hurt Melissa soon as she hear it. Yes, I might be an asshole for that.

I don't deserve someone that's as good as Melissa. And as you can guess, I start to dreaming about Aubrey again. I shouldn't, but I did. Last night I was dreaming that she came to me after leaving Taylor. See? I'm not even a good friend. Screw me, right? I almost can't face Taylor today.

Chelmsford, 2001

We were scheduled to play for this festival, which we did. But we just didn't feel like it was our usual performance. We're lack of energy. I didn't feel like we actually play the way we always did. I don't know what the hell happened with Taylor too. He was mostly high and none of us even tried to talk that out with him.

"For fuck sake Taylor. Did you took drugs before playing?"
"Can you turn down your volume? You'll make everyone's hearing that."
"First, we all knew about it except your girl. Which I keep holding not to telling her for I don't know how long. But you don't even change a bit. People's dying Taylor. I witnessed some shit."
"Oh come on don't try to bring any Kurt's story on me. I'm tired hearing that from you."
"Really? That's what you think? Geez. I can't believe you actually said that. Fuck." I go out and left him alone, I need a break. He drives me insane.

On my way out, I see Aubrey sit on a bench alone. Probably thinking about something. I wanna talk to her about Taylor but then I remembered how much she hates me right now. I push myself to have a talk with her. Apologize, explain, then talk about Taylor.

"Aubrey can we talk?" She doesn't say anything. "Hey, we're not talking for days. Come on I need to talk to you."
"Oh, so now you need to talk to me? How about Melissa? Did you talk to her?" She says to me, sarcastically. "Aubrey, it's not like what you think..."
"What? What's on my mind?"
"Aubrey...."
"Come back when you know what's wrong with your decision."

She stands up and walk away from me just to bumped into Chris. "Why are you in hurry?" She ask him as I watch his worry face. "Umm. I need to call ambulance." I become aware and as I ask one more question, hoping it's not what I think about. "For who?"
"Taylor. He won't wake up. Nate with him. Excuse me I need to go." Chris quickly rush passed us and I can see Aubrey's shaking from head to toe. I go to her and grab her arms before she fall down. "What...what happened?"
"Aubrey. He's gonna be okay. We need to get him to hospital. Okay?" She nods and I bring her in. We see Taylor on the floor, with Nate trying to do what he can to bring him back. And she's screaming, crying her heart out when she see that. I grab her arms, try to calm her down when in fact I also terrified. The picture of Kurt suddenly comes to my mind again. I can't handle this to be happen again. Not after what happened to Kurt. I just can't. If something happens to Taylor, I swear I'm gonna stop playing music because I don't wanna see my friends dying over and over again.

Chris comes back with an ambulance and paramedics. They try to do first aid but nothing happen. So they go bring Taylor with them and Nate insists to go with the ambulance. I take my car and go with Aubrey and Chris. In our way to hospital, I look at Aubrey a couple times, finding that she doesn't say anything since they took Taylor. Her face tells me she's scared, probably holding her tears very hard. She's also keep biting her nails. All I can do is hold her hand and trying to calm her down.

Mt. Si, 2008

When we're waiting for Clairine to come here, I watch Taylor's face. He's anxious, he can't wait any longer and probably his mind is full of thoughts right now. He can't stop tapping his shoes on the wooden floor. But not only him that got this sensation, me too.

Just as we see an old lady walking into our direction, we quickly get up from our seat and watch her walking closer. Now she's already in front of us. "So you two are Dave and Taylor?" She's a sweet old lady, like my mom. With a blonde hair and blue eyes. "Yes Ma'am. We..."
"I know, I know. Let's coming in." She pulls out a key and unlocked the door. I'm aware for what I will find inside the cabin. Would it be the same like what I knew years ago?