Generator

M.I.A

Encino, 2010
"That's a wrap!" I hear Butch's voice soon after the vocal take for These Days. For this record, we also got Pat back. After awhile being our tour member. We're glad he came back. Although the decision almost made Chris quit the band, but luckily we are all good.

"Alright! Meanwhile you guys listening to this, I'm gonna get my notebook." Butch get up from his chair, leaving me and Taylor alone. "Hey Dave.."
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry if I mention this but... Do you notice that Aubrey's phone number is no longer available?" I know what he meant, because I've been trying to call her too since the incident. "Yeah, I do."
"It's weird, right? Especially she didn't show up at our kids gathering as well. I mean, as I can remember, she was very excited to meet the kids. You think she's gonna come to our release party next year? I think about send her a letter, or pay a visit." To be honest, I know he's not gonna find her at cabin either. Because I tried that before. Or maybe...she live with Clairine now?

"Hey? Dave? You're listening?" Taylor just wave his hand in front of my face. "Uh? Yeah. Sorry. I'm so tired. I think you should call Clairine first."
"Why?"
"I mean, maybe the reason her phone isn't active is because she doesn't live inside the cabin anymore. Better to ask the closest person."
"You're right. But I just changed my phone, remember? I'm no longer have her number."
"I got it. Wait." I get my phone and looking for Clairine's number. "Here, now call her."
"Why me? That's your phone."

I'm so afraid that somehow she will refuse to take the call if I call her. "Everything is alright? You seems uncomfortable."
"Just...call her Taylor."
"I don't like the tone of your voice. I'll ask you later about it." He take my phone and dial the number. Put the call on speaker.

"Hello? Dave? I'm sorry but Aubrey told me not to take call from you." Taylor turns his eyes on me, confused. "Oh, hey Clairine. It's Taylor, using Dave's phone. I lost your number so..."
"Oh, Taylor.. hi."
"By the way, umm. I'm calling just wanna know what happened to Aubrey. Her phone is inactive and she didn't come to our kids gathering."
"Umm, I can't tell you that. Let me ask her if she wants to talk to you."
"Okay.."

We wait for a minute and then we hear someone take the phone back. "Hello?" It's her. Aubrey. "Aubrey? It's me Taylor. You're okay?"
"Yeah."
"You moved with Clairine now?"
"Pretty much." She sounded really cold. "You call me alone, right? Dave's not listening?" One more time Taylor looks at me. "No. I'm alone. What's going on? What's the matter with him?"
"Nothing. Just wondering. Why do you call?"
"Honestly I want to ask you if you will come to our release party next year. Since you didn't come to the gathering I need to ask you about it."
"I'll think about it. I can't promise you."
"Well, okay. Can you tell me where you and Clairine live now? We can talk sometimes."
"I can't tell you that. But anyway, thanks for your invitation."

Taylor put the phone down. Looking sharp directly to me. "You're not gonna tell me what's going on?"
"There's nothing Taylor."
"Oh come on! First, you don't wanna call her by yourself, Clairine stated that Aubrey doesn't wanna take a call from you, Aubrey herself even ask if you're listening or not. It can't be nothing."
"Tay it's not..."
"No bullshit Dave. I know you for how long? Tell me what's going on." He fold his arms in front of his chest and I know he will not letting it slip. "Okay.. she's mad at me. Like... really mad."
"Why? You say something to her?"
"No, not saying.... More like what I did."
"Explain."
"I kissed her. Okay? That night I called her and was about to invite her to the gathering. It's all fine until I hear something wrong from her voice. She sounded sad, and I can hear people around her on the background. I asked her what's going on and insisted to pick her up. She told me she was at a bar. In L.A. I freaked out."
"And then?"
"At first... We just talk.. she finally told me about what bothered her. She was getting worse and she's afraid about being a burden when she passed away. I can't help myself and... I kissed her."
"You what? Now tell me how you asked me to move on."
"I know Taylor. I know. That's a mistake. I'm sorry."
"Damn it! Dave, after all the effort and after she was willing to meet us again. You screwed up."
"I did. And I'm truly sorry about it."

"Alright.. I think... This is the case. If...she does show up on our party, we're good. But if not.... We need to leave her. For all that matters. We better not bothering her again. Do you understand?" Yeah, he's right. Maybe it's the time. To live my life and moving on. Not thinking about her anymore. We all had enough. "Understand."
"Good. Now excuse me Dave, I need to get back home. You too."
"I will. Thanks Taylor."
"Yeah. Welcome."

Right after Taylor leave the room, I look at one of our tape. There is one song that I feel the need change the title. One more song that I secretly write about her. It supposed to called All Fire like initial of her name. But then I think to change it with a piece of the lyrics. Miss The Misery.

I grab my pen and draw lines on the title and write down the replacement title. "What are you doing?"
Suddenly Butch enter the studio again. "Oh hey. I thought you were leaving already."
"I did. But I forgot to bring my sheets. What did you do to that tape?"
"Nothing. Just change the title."
"Something is wrong?"
"No, just thinking about the working title. I got a better idea." He walks to me and take it from my hand. "Oh, this one? You take the lyrics out?"
"Pretty much."
"Oh, okay. Make sure you tell your band tomorrow. I don't want them to be confused about the song. Tomorrow we will hearing all the songs right from beginning to the end."
"Don't worry. I will. Thanks man!"
"Yeah! Good night Dave. Go home!" He smiles and then close the door. Yeah, I should go home and see my family. I need that for now and forever more. I get my phone and I erase each numbers that related to Aubrey in any way. Hopefully I will not able to reach her anymore.

When I leave and about to jump to my car, I get a call. "Yeah honey? Of course I'll come home."
"Thank god. These lil girls want a kiss goodnight from their father." I giggles, thinking about how sassy my daughters are.

"Yeah. Tell 'em they'll get that. Okay? Good night. Love you."