broken

muah

“Each scar’s a cipher rimmed with old barbs and landmines protecting its truth.”

today i was getting out of this hell-hole. i'm still not sure if that's a good thing or not.

when Isaac asked me to promise that last night, i was kind of sure that i wouldn't keep the promise. we're practically strangers. okay, a part of that was a lie.

for some reason, Isaac felt special to me. I figured that out when i didn't do anything when he touched my hand last night. and not to say he cared. he really did care. and that is something i hadn't encounter for a really long time, i tell you. and it was sincere, his eyes said it all. he really did care and i really did matter to him. but why exactly was i a matter of interest to him, i don't know.

usually when someone care, i know it's not of love. It's more like pity. and that is why i never accept they help. they should go find a hobo to spill pity at, not me.

but with Isaac, it was something that never happened to me. he just simply cared. he wanted me to feel better of myself. and that was somehow starting to happen.

it was about seven in the morning when the light of the room awoke me. my eyelids were orange from the light so i had to open them. and i slowly did that.

when i opened them, i saw a lady of around 40. she was next to the bed. "oh, you're awake" she gave me a small smile. i returned it with my best awkward smile. her name was Lynda and she comes every once in a while to check on the tubes attached to my body and i guessed she was taking them off today. she started to work on them with disappointment evident on her face.

she didn't look at me. "you're beautiful, you know that?" oh, the pity. i would have rolled my eyes if it wasn't inappropriate. i decided to ignore her and she decided to not push it any further.

after she was done, she stood in-front of my bed. "you're parents will be here in a minute" she said before taking her turn. how exciting. before she can open the door, it was pushed by Isaac who stood there looking handsome as ever. i found myself smiling.

"Lynda" he greeted her. she smiled and returned the greeting and excused herself. Isaac then turned to me. "you're leaving" his grin was so wide.

i rolled my eyes at him but couldn't help the smile on my face. "you seem quite happy that you won't see me again" and to say the least, i felt a slight pang in my chest that he'd think that he's finally getting rid of me.

He shook his head and his smile went bigger, if that was even possible. He walked towards the bed and sat by the edge. "i am quite happy that I won't see you again in the hospital. or so I hope."

my smile slowly dropped from my face as i began to think of things. i definitely not think that this will be my last time here. i came out of my trance when his fingers moved to my face and played with it as if clay to form a very clown-like smile. i just sat and stared at his eyes and how they glinted as he talked. "you are not coming back here. ever. and you promised that you're going to tell me if you're thinking of doing anything you'll regret later. but if you did, you're going to let me help you. bandage you and all"

he cared. he just did. and i really admire that. i nodded at him. he went on.

"I can cure these cuts for you," he said, staring at me dead in the eyes. "if you let me, that is." and that made me do something I would never, like seriously e v e r think of ever doing. i kissed him. i took advantage of the lack of space between our faces and, i kissed him.