broken

loneliness

"luckily" i didn't loose so much blood and my mother found me 15 minutes after.

this time, i didn't go to the hospital, for which i was thankful. i knew that if i were taken to a hospital it was going to be the one Isaac is working at, because it was the best hospital in the town and my parents likes "best" of things.

so, the following day, i'm all bandaged and in bed. my mother has insisted not to go to school and for once, i actually agreed with her. but her reasons differs from mine, that's for sure. hers were things along the lines of "you can't go to school with a visible bandage around your arm. What would people think of me?"

mine, though, were far more important. 

i knew that if i went today, it will only build more stress on me and cause me to feel much much worse.

so, for the day i have decided to just stare at the ceiling of my room as music blared out of my mobile.

i raised my hand from the mattress and stared at it. it was so bony and white, i really hated it. but, i liked the band-aid that had blood on them. my body deserved this, i deserved this.

if it wasn't so imperfect, things wouldn't be the way they are right now and i would be the school's most beautiful girl, with the curves in the right places. guys would be waiting in lines just for me to say their names, girls would give me looks of admiration.

too bad i'm not perfect, right?

suddenly, the music was silenced and was replaced by the familiar ring-tone. i glanced at my phone and saw the caller's ID. it was Isaac.

i couldn't find my breath and just stared at the phone, not really sure if i wanted to answer it or not. i looked at the clock and saw that it was 5 in the evening. i haven't eaten anything all day, and i don't really want to eat anything either.

taking a deep breath in, my pale, shaking thumb slid across the screen to accept the phone call.

"Where the fuck are you and why weren't you answering before?" i flinched at his tone of voice. i don't need someone else telling me about how i fail at everything, fail at life.

"just home" my voice was so weak and pathetic, i wanted to punch myself in the gut. i didn't want to answer his second question, although i know he has his correct guesses.

"Abigail...." i wanted him to say my name over and over again, it was the only thing that kept me hanging. i felt something fall on my lips and when i wiped it with my tongue, the familiar salty taste was there. i was crying.

how pathetic.

"Abigail, talk to me."

i took a shaky breath in. i didn't know what to say, but found myself saying three words that were never planned to be said. i wanted to regret saying them, but i didn't find the dis-satisfaction anywhere in me.

"i need you"

-

i think this chapter sucked but well oh well

and idrk but should i put the story on rated R? i think i should.

one more chapter + epilougue + sequel