Healing a broken soul(Zane×Gene) {Re-write}

Chapter 18

If you're not comfortable with smuts then I'll be giving you a warning on when the smut begins.
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Zane and Gene sat in the car, very close to the house as they held hands. Gene could feel Zane trembling, Zane being nervous about what's going to happen. Although they both wanted this, for Zane, just imagining intercourse brings back terrible memories, and as for Gene, he just thought that if Zane doesn't want to go along with it at all, then he'll understand and just comfort Zane.

Gene parks the car in the driveway, the lights in the house completely off so Zenix and Sasha were out
They get out of the car. Gene unlocks the door and turns on the lights as Zane closes the door, "Let's go upstairs to my room..." Gene says and heads upstairs with Zane following. When entering the room, Zane enters first, taking a look around as Gene closes the door. Zane takes off his sweater, feeling warm and Gene turns back to see Zane wearing a thin soft fabric black long sleeve shirt.

Gene walks up behind Zane, wrapping his arms around Zane's thin waist. Zane just stays silent and still, seeming fine as Gene could feel his body slowly stop to tremble. "Is this okay?" Gene asks, Zane just nods in response. Gene lowers his head, starting to gently kiss the crook of Zane's neck.

Zane just closes his eyes and lets Gene do what he wants, finding it nice. Gene kisses up more his neck, making Zane let out a small quiet moan when feeling Gene kiss a specific spot. Gene hears and starts abusing that spot, making Zane continue to let out small moans.

Gene's hands start to make their way under Zane's shirt, feeling his soft skin and thin figure. Zane just holds a grip on his sweater, eyes closed, cheeks burning red, letting out small moans. Gene slowly walks towards the bed, Zane sets down his sweater as Gene lays Zane down on the bed.

Balto grabs my wrist and puts my arm around my back, bending me over the bed.

Gene kisses the back of Zane's neck, his right hand trying to undo Zane's pants, and his left plays around Zane's nip.

Balto slowly started to pull down my jeans and boxers.

Everything started to come crashing back to Zane. He started to feel sick in his stomach, tears starting to form, remembering how Balto would roam his cold hands around his body.

Tears started to flow from my eyes as I started to silently cry.

Zane stop.
It's not him.
It's Gene, not Balto.

But I can't see him...

Gene froze when hearing Zane whimper. He quickly stops and pulls away, hearing Zane start to cry. "Zane? Zane, I'm sorry, I should've known this is too much," Gene exclaims and turns Zane around to face him. Zane breathes heavily, staring at Gene to remind him that it's Gene. That everything's okay.

"I'm s-sorry, i-it's j-just..." Zane sits up, taking in and out deep breaths to calm down. "I-I don't...l-like t-this position. I-I w-won't be able t-to see you..." Zane says and grabs Gene's hands. "I-I know i-its stupid...I-I'm such a-an idiot..." Zane cries but Gene shakes his head, putting his hand on Zane's cheek and wipes away his tears, "No Zane, it's trauma, it's-"

"N-no Gene, you d-don't g-get it," Zane interrupts, "I s-shouldn't be s-scared w-when knowing t-that it's yo-you,...this i-is t-totally different t-than with h-him..." Zane says, making Gene go quiet and waiting for Zane to explain. "H-His hands, they were c-c-cold and rough, yours a-are warm and...loving... He b-bites and you kiss... I-I don't g-get it..." Zane cries and grips his hair, feeling stressed.

"W-Why can't I-I understand that this is d-different..." Zane cries while Gene holds him, "' Cause you're recovering and just isn't ready for this yet, it's okay," Gene says but Zane shakes his head. "I-Its not that!" Zane shouts, grabbing Gene by the collar of his shirt, "I-I'm tired o-of recovering! This isn't something that I can just get over!! T-This is so-something I'm always g-going c-carry!! I'm al-always going to be traumatized a-and I don't w-want t-that!! I-I want t-to g-go back t-to the w-way I w-was b-before!!" Zane stared into Gene's eyes, seeing the love he feels when looking at him. Zane felt it too.