As a person who is considered smart, my greatest insecurity is feeling stupid and people trying to make me feel like I'm wrong.
Does my brother actually enjoy seeing me cry?
*has to be censored*
My brother is a fucking jerk/asshole/boq/azel/idiot/bullie.
*no longer censored*
Story of my car ride:
I get in , say hello, my brother rambles about his booooring day, everything is normal.
We reach my grandma's house, I accidentally stab my pen between my thumb and index, which really hurts.
And what does he say? What does that fucking pathetic excuse for a brother say?
He says "that's what you get for your needles stabbing me when I came into the car before we picked you up"
And so I calmly tell him that it's not really "what I get" because I didn't put the needles at the top of the bag for the exact same reason. I didn't want anyone to get hurt by my knitting needles.
And so we argue, and then at the elevator, he says that they're my stuff, so revenge is okay.
But here are my questions.
Did I put the needles at the top.
No
Did I put the bag in the car
No
And did I ask the fucking needles to hurt him? (needle: a nonliving thing that can be used for many things, mainly artistic pursuits or stitching wounds. It is not proven at all that it could be a living thing controlled by any creature that doesn't hold it or have some sort of telepathic abilities)
NO, what kind of sister (person, in general) would I be to intentionally hurt my brother physically?
If anything, I see myself as a book smarts type of girl who's too loud, but not a bad person, and while not a rocket scientist, not an idiot either. I can hold quite stimulating conversations if I wish.
But noooo, my brother would describe me as:
"Idiot"
"Stupid"
"Boring"
"Trying too hard"
"Arrogant"
Seriously, WTF boy?
And mummy darling, I'm going through the stage where I love her but don't like her, and all I have to say is, CONTROL YOUR SON, WOMAN!
Is it too hard to become a real family despite everything? If so, then I don't want him to be my brother if all the amount of trying in the world isn't going to make us the siblings we once were, or even any sort of good relationship.
I feel like the only one in my corner is my grandma.
(P.S I feel like I'm sharing too much, but this is a dump for my thoughts and feelings.)
YOU ARE READING
The Book of Rants || Random
RandomMy mind is all over the place. In fact, it's been to places that don't exist. (Technically, they DO exist, since they exist in my mind, right?) Also includes randomness (Warning: may include swearing.)
