The Book of Rants || Random

random rant because I'm just so sick of most people I call "family"

I'm just so, so tired of people telling who I am and who I'm not, and the people telling me who to be, the people telling that my capabilities are so very limited because I'm thirteen, which is their way of saying that being between 0-20 makes you and idiot. So what if I don't want to sleep at eight? So what if I don't want to sit down and talk to people I don't like? So what if I don't like hanging out with my half-sisters? So what if I'm just not a people person?

And why am I being told that just because I'm thirteen, I can't judge a person's character, and that I'm just making up flaws that are nonexistent, when that judgement is backed up by the general opinion most of the times?

It's like people have no idea who I am, and no idea who they want me to be, and all of them come from my family, who are supposed to love and support me, but are instead all being jerks when it comed to anything.

Why is it when I go to say good morning to my dad, he turns it into an argument, every single time, and then pins the blame on me or my brother? Why does he keep comparing me to my sisters? Why is he so keen on telling me what to do?

Once, I was hanging out with my brother and his best friend, who's also my friend of sorts. We went outside and hid in the car. My dad caught us but then let us off the hook. And then, the maid calls me and tells me that he asked for me to come because he wants to talk to me. So I thought it was about the car thing. I went and asked him if he asked for me or something. He said yes. We sat down for five minutes in silence until he just mentioned that I've been at his house for a whole week, so why didn't I put oil in my hair. He turned that into an argument and when I told him that I don't like putting oil in my hair, he said I'm being defensive when he just wants to have a conversation with me. He started the argument, and then pinned it on me, just like every single time.

Honestly, my mom might be a bit of a bitch but at least she and her side of the family understand that we need space to grow and explore what we like and what we don't, and that limiting what we're able to do and giving out harsh expectations is just suffocating.

So basically, I'm being told my opinion means nothing, I won't mean anything if I become fat, and that it's okay to compare me to fictional characters in some terrible tv show, and that I'm basically nothing.

My dad tells me I'm irresponsible, careless, argumentative, and that my mom's a horrible influence and a person, that my best friend shouldn't be my best friend just because she can't come over to his house, and then he says all sorts of things that make no sense where I'm from while also saying that he's so "cool" and "modern." If he was any of those, he'd know none of my friends or the people I know have a 10 p.m curfew, especially when they go out at 7 p.m.

Everyone in my dad's family just always has to assume the worst of me and my brother.

Why can't they just leave me alone? I didn't ask to have them in my life, and they clearly don't want me as me, just some sort of doll that can fit their quota for a perfect person.