The Will of Love and Life (Peterick)

Chapter Thirty

A/N: One chapter left before the epilogue! I have a lot to say about this book, but I'll wait until it's actually over before I get all sappy. And when this is over, I have two new petericks that are chilling in my drafts. One is going to be full length, and the other is a short story comprising of maybe five chapters.

February 11, 2017

"You promised me that you'd always come back," Pete mumbled to himself, staring at the ring on his finger.

There was no one else in the room. The secretary at the desk was on the phone, and she hadn't paid Pete any attention in the last thirty minutes. There was an awful lot of breathing room, but he could hardly move.

His anxiety was slowly making its way up his body, just waiting to reach the pit of his stomach and turn his gut. His feet tapped, his knees shook, his joints ached, and his stomach wanted to vomit.

"I thought we'd always be together. I thought I loved you enough."

Even though the shirt Pete was wearing hadn't been Patrick's for months, it still held the scent of his cologne. He gripped the pocket on the chest, where he stashed the half-bag of cocaine he found on the bathroom counter. He was in too much of a hurry to throw it out, but he didn't want to leave it where it would be forgotten.

He twisted the sapphire ring on his finger, a nervous habit he recently resorted to. It was better than biting his nails or picking the polish off, especially since his hands were more often than not being held by Patrick, leading him to try and keep them nicer. He was sure that Patrick never really noticed anyway, but having a reason to stop, no matter how stupid, made him feel better.

Patrick was his reason for everything. Patrick was his alarm clock. His best friend. His counselor. His pillow. His lover. Patrick wasn't afraid to yell at him when he did something stupid or defend him to whoever crossed his path.

The framed picture of them Joe placed on Patrick's desk was soon joined by another. Multiple were tacked on Pete's mirror at work.

He couldn't escape him even if he wanted to. Pete hadn't given much thought to how much he loved Patrick. He never tried to measure it. He just knew he was in love, and that was that.

The pain he felt in his heart as he twisted his ring was agonizing. It grew worse as every minute passed. He refused to cry anymore. He wanted to believe that his love would be okay.

He heard his name be called out by a familiar voice. He looked up to see Joe walking towards him, lips quivering and eyes blinking fast. He stood, and Joe engulfed him in a hug.

"How'd you get here so fast?"

"Speed limits don't limit me," Joe replied in an attempt to make Pete smile. It worked for half of a second, but then Pete's lips were back in a frown. They sat down in the chairs, and for a few moments, it was silent.

"You know he's gonna be okay, right?" Joe asked, wrapping his arm around Pete's shoulders. "You caught him in time."

Pete didn't say anything. He felt like Joe was trying to convince himself.

"It's nothing you did," Joe finally muttered. "He's had problems for an awfully long time."

"But he was doing so much better. Then he stopped taking his meds a couple weeks ago and... I don't know what's wrong."

"He wasn't talking to anyone. Not even Breezy. But, I mean, this is... I don't think he's over it yet."

"I don't think he'll ever get over it."