Misinterpreting Fate (Book 2)

11. Tears

Chapter 11: Tears

Sam

I kept dragging Ryan behind me, not caring where I was headed at this point. I just needed to get away. The bell rang out in the empty hallway, telling us we were late. I didn't care about that either, unable to think of anything except Shawn's words echoing through my head.

"Sam, hold on," Ryan said, pulling me to a stop.

I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see whatever expression he was wearing, knowing it was probably one of pity. I didn't want pity. I knew this was going to happen.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. I shouldn't have made him late to class. Plus Shawn was more of Ryan's friend to begin with. It wasn't fair to Ryan that he lost a friend today too because of me.

"Not your fault." Ryan reached up and wiped a tear from my cheek with him thumb. I've always been the type to cry easily.

I was confused when he left his hand there, holding my chin up so that I was looking at him. We stared at each other for a moment, then he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against mine.

It was a quick kiss, lasting no longer than a second. I was shocked. So I ran. I ran all the way to my class, slipping through the door and into the open desk next to Jaime just as the teacher was starting to take attendance.

"Where were you?" Jaime whispered to me.

I shrugged. "With Ryan." Just saying his name gave me a tight feeling in my chest. He kissed me. He actually kissed me.

"I swear, he's a bad influence on you," she muttered. It wasn't the first time she's said that to me.

The teacher said my name and I answered. At least I was counted for being in this class today. I hope Ryan made it to his class on time too. He didn't deserve a detention.

Ryan. Why would he do that? Was it to prove he didn't mind me being gay? Did he, for some reason, like me? Why wouldn't he have told me before, if that was the case?

I really wanted to tell Jaime what happened. But at the same time, I didn't want to end up outing Ryan or anything. Then again, he'll probably assume I'll tell her anyway. He knows I tell her everything.

That just left me with one question: if Ryan liked me, did I like Ryan back?

The question was on my mind for the rest of the school day. I didn't tell Jaime, even though I really wanted to. I ended up avoiding all my friends for the rest of the day, and I stayed after school just to avoid taking the bus home with Ryan.

Instead, I waited until I knew all the buses had gone before leaving the building. I sat down on the front steps that lead down to the parking lot, debating whether or not to call Poppa. I'm sure he would come pick me up if I asked him to, but I didn't know if I wanted to go home yet or not.

There was too much floating around my head right now. Between what happened with Shawn, Ryan, and even with Grant, I couldn't concentrate on anything except repeating those interactions over and over again in my head.

I sat there until the parking lot emptied out. I hadn't been paying attention to the time, but it must have been getting late by now.

Pulling out my phone, I saw a couple texts from Jaime, a text from Ryan, and a missed call from Poppa. Instead of reading any of the texts, I called Poppa back.

"Where are you?" he asked as soon as he answered.

"At school. Do you think you can pick me up?"

He sighed, probably figuring out if he had time to or not. "Yeah, I can. Everything okay?"

I shook my head, even though I was on the phone with him. "I don't know. A lot happened today."

"Good things? Bad things?"

"Mostly bad. I think. Maybe all bad. I'm not sure yet."

Poppa sighed again. "We can talk about it when I pick you up. Okay?"

After we ended the call, with his promise of being here in ten minutes, I checked my texts. Jaime had sent me what are you doing after school today? and then, a few minutes later, sent Ryan told me what Shawn said. Do you want to talk?

I didn't answer her. Both were sent an hour ago, with nothing else after that second one. I didn't really want to talk to her, especially because Ryan seemed to have left out a very important detail of what happened right after. I didn't want to end up giving away that secret, since he obviously wanted to keep it one.

Speaking of, I switched over to the message Ryan sent me, curious. He had sent it just after the kiss happened. I'm sorry for doing that. Can we forget about it?

I stared at the message. How could he say that? Did he regret doing it? Did I regret him doing it? I honestly wasn't sure of my answer.

Before he did it, I never once thought about him that way. I always had Owen and besides, it's not like I ever knew he was an option to think about.

A car stopped at the bottom on the steps and it took me a few seconds to recognize it as Poppa's. I hurried down and got in, no longer wanting to sit outside alone with my thoughts anymore.

Poppa didn't say anything when I sat down, just started driving. I was kind of grateful, not knowing if I was ready to tell him what happened yet, or even how to tell him.

We were about halfway home when I spoke up. "Did you ever have to deal with someone hating you because of... you know..."

He glanced at me, seeming to understand even if I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence. "Yeah. Actually... he'll deny it now, but your grandfather wasn't the biggest fan of me when I first met him, especially once he found out I was dating your father."

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. I never knew that. It was impossible to tell now that there was ever an issue between the two of them. "What did you do?"

"Nothing. I kept dating your father because he couldn't tell us not to. People like that never bothered me because I've always been on my own. Ever since I was a kid, it was just me, then just me and Amy. I didn't have the great friends you have or anyone close enough to me to hurt me with their opinions."

"Oh." I watched the road in front of us, not caring that silent tears had started flowing down my cheeks again. My great friends. Sure. One of them hated me and another kissed me. I didn't know what to think about my friends anymore.

I didn't notice that we had gotten home until Poppa pulled me into a hug. I leaned into him, ignoring the seatbelt digging into my shoulder, and let myself cry.